Self-esteem is personal and primarily involves one’s own perceptions, beliefs, and attitudes toward oneself.

It’s an internal process that is influenced by factors such as past experiences, self-perception, and self-talk. While external factors, such as interactions with others, can have an impact on self-esteem, ultimately, the responsibility for improving and maintaining self-esteem lies with the individual only.

You can improve it through self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-care practices.

It involves recognizing one’s strengths and weaknesses, setting realistic goals, and taking positive actions to enhance self-worth and confidence by challenging negative thoughts, self-compassion practice, engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfilment, and surrounding oneself with supportive people.

While others can provide encouragement, validation, and support, they cannot fundamentally change or improve someone else’s self-esteem.

External validation may offer temporary boosts to self-esteem, but lasting improvement comes from within, through self-reflection, self-improvement efforts, and self-validation.

Our anger generally comes from our perception of reality not matching our expectations.

If you are dealing with a person who likes to hurt others, who is careless about hurting others or who is unwilling to listen to feedback when you tell them that what they have done hurts you then continuing to get angry is pointless.

You won’t be able to change them so focus on creating boundaries about what you will and won’t accept from them and managing your own expectations.

If it is a cranky grandparent for example, you can learn to ignore their thoughtless remarks, accept that their world view is different to yours and let their words go (perhaps imagine a big toilet to flush them down)

If it is a relationship partner then think long and hard if you want to be in a relationship with someone who knows that their words or behaviour hurt you and still continue to do that. Perhaps accept that they don’t love you as you deserve, accept that, let go of trying to change them and move on with your life.

Acceptance of someone’s limitations is an important part of being able to forgive.

Ego is about how you want others to perceive you (Identities), while self-respect (#self-esteem) is about how you see and treat yourself with dignity and worth.

There is fine line between these and Most of the times, we react based on our ego’s rather than our self-respect, largely due to misunderstanding and the interchangeable use of these terms.

#Ego:
When our ego is strong, we may want others to see us in a certain way that aligns with our own self-image. If others don’t see us that way, it can sometimes bruise our ego and affect our self-esteem.

For example, imagine you’re a chartered accountant and someone points out a mistake in your field of expertise. Your ego, which is tied to your identity as a CA, might feel hurt, leading you to make excuses instead of accepting the mistake. As humans, we often interpret criticism of our mistakes as a personal disrespect in front of others. This blurs the line between protecting our ego and maintaining our self-respect.

#Self-Respect:
On the other hand, self-respect is more about valuing ourselves regardless of how others perceive us. It’s about having a strong sense of worth that isn’t solely dependent on #external validation.

When someone tries to trigger you by insulting you or by doing or saying something that irritates you, switch off your Ego…if you’re easily offended, you’re easily manipulated

What others say doesn’t define you and your soul reality!

Motivation and laziness can be viewed as opposite ends of a spectrum when it comes to human behaviour.

Natural Motivation comes when your values are aligned well with your belief and core human needs.

If your core need is love & connection ,you may naturally feel motivated to meet and greet people. Take part in social setup’s . If your belief is “Money is more important than Health” than you would never inclined to join gym/ yoga classes etc. and get only spike of motivation occasionally. Like we all make new year resolutions to go gym from 1st Jan but how many of us continue after few days or weeks ?

Technique-1
By using following chart practice of “what’s in my control zone or “what’s out of my control zone”.

To serve their Ego’s ! Someone’s ego is their sense of their own worth.

Ego don’t just mean “Pride”, Its another component is “Self-Identities

As soon as we Born, a biological identity creates by Surname, social identity creates by given Name.

Religious identity created as “I am Hindu”, or You are a Christen etc.

Comparison is form of adding worth to your mentally created Identity

“I am rich”, I am owning this car, “I am an independent woman and not depend on anyone (pride) “

All such identity attachments create unrequited comparisons & Jealousy in mind which than reflect into our behavioural responses and start affecting different part of human life.

Social anxiety and low self-esteem are related but distinct psychological concepts:

Social Anxiety:

• Definition: Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, involves intense fear or anxiety about social situations where the individual may be scrutinized or judged by others.

• Symptoms: People with social anxiety may experience excessive worry before social events, fear of embarrassing themselves, avoidance of social situations, physical symptoms like sweating or trembling, and difficulty speaking or performing in front of others.

• Focus: Social anxiety is primarily centred around the fear of negative evaluation or judgment from others in social contexts.

Low Self-Esteem:

• Definition: Low self-esteem refers to a negative self-evaluation and a lack of confidence in one’s own worth or abilities.

• Symptoms: Individuals with low self-esteem may constantly criticize themselves, have a negative self-image, feel inadequate or incompetent, seek constant validation from others, and have difficulty accepting compliments.

• Focus: Low self-esteem is more about how individuals perceive themselves in terms of their own worth and capabilities, rather than specific fears about social interaction

Emotions are interpretation of a thought which have evolved as part of the brain’s adaptive responses to environmental challenges and social interactions.
From an evolutionary standpoint, emotions are believed to have developed as adaptive mechanisms that helped our ancestors survive and reproduce.
Emotions such as fear, anger, and joy have survival value. For example:

• Fear: Helps individuals avoid dangerous situations.

• Anger: Can motivate individuals to confront threats or injustices.

• Joy: Promotes social bonding and encourages behaviors that benefit social groups.

Function : When an event happen ,our brain interpret it by filtering through past experiences ,beliefs and value and than we make a relation with this interpretation of an event or identifies with it which generate emotions in us like anger, joy, sadness, .

Through repetition of this thought we make these emotions more stronger which ultimately start driving our life directly or indirectly .

Purpose: Emotions are like signals that tell us about our mental well-being and highlight areas in our lives that might need attention or improvement. For example, if someone feels sad for a long time, it can be a sign that something isn’t quite right and might require medical help or other forms of support. Similarly, if we’re feeling unusually stressed or anxious, it could indicate that we need to address certain issues or make changes to improve our overall mental health.

Negative Effect: Yes, emotions can indeed have negative effects on us, particularly when they are intense, prolonged, or unmanaged. Here are some ways emotions can negatively impact us:

1. Physical Health:

Stress and Anxiety: Chronic stress and anxiety can lead to physical health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and weakened immune function.

Depression: Prolonged sadness or depression can contribute to fatigue, changes in appetite, and other health issues.

2. Mental Health:

Emotional Overload: Persistent negative emotions, like anger or sadness, can exacerbate mental health conditions and lead to emotional burnout or mental fatigue.

Cognitive Impact: Intense emotions can impair cognitive functions such as concentration, decision-making, and memory.

3. Relationships:

Conflict: Negative emotions like anger or jealousy can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings in personal and professional relationships.

Isolation: Persistent negative emotions might cause someone to withdraw from social interactions, leading to feelings of loneliness or isolation.

4. Behavior:

Impulsive Actions: Strong emotions can sometimes lead to impulsive or rash decisions that one might regret later.

Avoidance: People might avoid dealing with problems or challenges due to overwhelming negative emotions, which can exacerbate issues in the long run.

5. Daily Functioning:

Productivity: Persistent negative emotions can reduce motivation and productivity, affecting work or academic performance.

Self-Care: When overwhelmed by negative emotions, individuals might neglect self-care activities such as exercise, healthy eating, or adequate sleep.