Author: MG

Hey everyone! Today, I want to dive into a different side of guilt. Lately, I’ve been feeling guilty for not finishing tasks on time or for choosing to say “No” and relax instead of going out. That’s when it hit me—guilt often ties itself to wrongdoing, but it doesn’t always have to

Have you ever said sorry even though it wasn’t your fault? Or felt bad for saying “no” just to look after yourself? That’s guilt, and it can pop up even when we haven’t actually done something wrong ourselves

Guilt doesn’t always mean you did something bad. Sometimes, it comes from doing something good, being kind, or just trying to be the best version of yourself.

Guilt is a social emotion. It acts like an internal compass, guiding us to “do the right thing.” The problem? Sometimes this compass becomes overly sensitive. Even when there’s no real wrongdoing, your brain may fire off guilt signals just to be safe.

Let’s look at a few common moments:

• You turn down a friend’s invite because you’re exhausted — but then you feel guilty the whole evening.
• Take a day off from work after weeks of stress but can’t stop thinking, “Am I being lazy?”
• Putting off a task because you’re mentally drained, then feel guilty for procrastinating, even though rest is what you needed.
• You enjoy being home working on your goals but then feel guilty for not spending time with family or friends.
• You’re doing your best and slowly moving forward with your goals, but feel guilty for not making faster progress or for not being good enough.

None of these actions are wrong — yet the guilt still creeps in. Why does that happen?

Psychologists say guilt isn’t always about doing something bad. Sometimes it’s about how much we care, how we were raised, or how we judge ourselves. This kind of guilt is called “unnecessary” or “false guilt.”

Let’s explore in detail

Why Do We Feel “False Guilt” ?

1. Unrealistic Expectations and Perfectionism

Sometimes we place unrealistic pressure on ourselves to be perfect. When we fall short of our own high standards—often shaped by social comparison and fear of judgment—we may feel guilty, even if we’re genuinely doing our best.

We live in a culture that often glorifies hustle, speed, and constant productivity. If you’re working hard but not moving “fast enough,” you might start feeling like you’re failing

This disconnect between effort and perceived success can create a low-level guilt that simmers beneath the surface.

For example, if you’re working hard but not moving fast enough, you might think you’re failing, even though you’re making steady progress. It’s a harsh mental trap: You feel like you’re not doing enough even when you’re doing all you can.

2. Empathy and Caring Too Much

Highly empathetic people often absorb others’ emotions. If you’re sensitive to the feelings and needs of those around you, it’s easy to mistake their discomfort as something you caused—even if you didn’t.

This kind of emotional misattribution can leave you feeling falsely guilty when you’ve done nothing wrong.

For example, saying “No” to a friend, colleague, relatives or taking time for yourself might make you feel guilty because you’re worried about letting them down, even if it’s what you needed.

3. Upbringing and Learned Behaviour’s

Many times, we pick up guilt from the way we have been raised. If we grew up in an environment where guilt was often used to control or motivate us, we might carry that with us into adulthood. This can make us feel guilty even when we’re doing something perfectly fine.

For example, you might have been told you were “good” only when you did what others wanted and made to feel bad when you said “no” or tried to do things your own way. As an adult, this can translate into chronic guilt—especially in moments of rest, success, or independence.

4. Judging Ourselves Harshly

Some people are naturally more self-critical. They might constantly feel like they’re not doing enough, or that they’re falling short, even when they’re not.

This negative self-judgment leads to false guilt that isn’t based on reality, but on how harshly they view themselves.

5. Society and Cultural Pressures

Society often has expectations about how we should behave, what we should achieve, and how we should feel. When we fall short of these standards—like feeling guilty for saying “no” to additional work because you’re already occupied or feeling guilty for prioritizing your own goals over others’—we carry unnecessary guilt

6. Struggling With Internalized Beliefs

We all want to succeed, improve, and be our best selves. We also set goals for what we should achieve by certain ages. But sometimes, these beliefs can make us feel guilty if we think we’re “not doing enough” or “not moving fast enough,” even when we’re doing well. It’s like wanting to be perfect, but realizing that progress takes time.

These beliefs can make us feel guilty or afraid just for living our lives.

How to Cope with Unexplained Guilt

Pause and Assess:

Ask yourself, “Did I actually do something wrong, or am I just feeling responsible for things I can’t control?”

Reframe the Thought:

If the guilt isn’t based on facts, remind yourself that feelings aren’t always accurate. For example, if you feel guilty for not getting things done because you were feeling lazy or tired, instead of beating yourself up, try reframing it. Say, “It’s okay to take a short break. I’ll get back to the task in 30 minutes and do my best then.”

This allows you to acknowledge your need for a break without letting guilt control your actions.

Practice Self-Compassion, but Stay Honest:

Speak to yourself the way you would to a friend—with kindness and understanding. But be careful not to confuse self-compassion with avoidance. Sometimes we say things like “I’m just tired” or “I’m overwhelmed” and use that as a reason to put off important tasks or goals.

Instead of accepting those thoughts right away, pause and ask yourself, “Is this truly how I feel, or am I making an excuse?” Listen to that quiet inner voice—it often knows our real truth.

4. Talk to a Professional:

Chronic, unexplained guilt could be a sign of deeper issues like depression, anxiety, or unresolved trauma. A therapist can help you explore the root causes.

Life can be overwhelming at times. Whether you’re facing stress, anxiety, self-doubt, or simply feeling stuck, you’re not alone.

In fact, many people struggle with finding balance and clarity in their personal and professional lives. However, the good news is—you don’t have to navigate it alone.

What is 1-on-1 Mental Health Life Coaching?

1-on-1 mental health coaching provides a safe, supportive, and judgment-free space where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, and challenges with a professional coach.

Unlike therapy, which focuses on healing past wounds, coaching is future-focused—it helps you set goals, build resilience, and develop strategies to overcome obstacles.

How Can Life Coaching Help You?

💡 Manage Stress & Anxiety: Learn techniques to reduce stress and develop a healthier mindset. 💡 Boost Self-Confidence: Overcome self-doubt and embrace your true potential.

💡 Find Clarity & Direction: Get clear on your goals and create a plan to achieve them.

💡 Improve Work-Life Balance: Develop habits that prioritize your well-being without compromising success.

💡 Cultivate a Positive Mindset: Shift from negative thought patterns to empowering beliefs.

Why Invest in Yourself?

Taking care of your mental health is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. When you invest in your inner well-being, you create a foundation for a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Moreover, Coaching provides the tools, guidance, and accountability needed to break through barriers and create lasting change.

Start Your Journey Today!

Your mental health and happiness matter.

So, if you’re ready to take the next step, I’d love to help you on your journey. Book a free discovery session to see how 1-on-1 coaching can benefit you.

Reach us through Contact form to book free discovery session.

Why You Should Avoid Sharing Your Goals with Others

At first, sharing your goals with others might feel exciting and empowering — after all, who doesn’t want a little support or validation?

But, here’s the twist: revealing your dreams too early or to the wrong people can actually backfire in surprising ways. So, what’s going on here? Well, while it seems like a good idea, sharing your goals can sometimes leave you feeling deflated instead of motivated.

Here’s the deal: when you broadcast your plans to everyone, you might unknowingly set yourself up for unexpected negative consequences. The truth is, keeping your goals private can be a game-changer in maintaining continuous motivation. Curious about why? Let’s dive into the reasons why keeping your goals to yourself could be your secret weapon to success!

The Psychological Impact of Sharing Your Goals

1. False Sense of Accomplishment:

When you tell someone your goal, your brain might trick you into feeling like you’ve already accomplished part of it. This happens because verbalizing your goals activates the reward centre of your brain. However, the problem is that this can reduce the actual drive to take action, ultimately leading to procrastination.

2. External Validation Can Be Distracting:

Their negative and limiting beliefs, based on their own experiences, can make you doubt yourself. Keep in mind that their advice is shaped by their past, which might not be true for you. This can create unnecessary doubts in your mind. When you seek approval from others, you become dependent on their opinions. If you share your goals and don’t receive the positive feedback you were hoping for, it can lead to self-doubt and lower your motivation. Relying on others for validation pulls you away from your inner drive, which is crucial for long-term success.

3. Judgment and Negative Feedback:

Not everyone will support your goals. Some people might doubt you or criticize your ambitions, either consciously or unconsciously. As a result, this negative feedback can drain your energy and make you question your capabilities, even though it’s not warranted.

4. Increased Pressure and Stress:

Sharing your goals can sometimes add unnecessary pressure. When others know about your goals, you might feel obligated to succeed in front of them, creating anxiety and stress. Consequently, this pressure can make you less focused on the actual process and more concerned with the end result.

How to Keep Your Motivation Strong

1. Keep Goals to Yourself
Instead of announcing your goals, focus on internalizing them. Write them down and create a plan, but keep them private. This allows you to work on your goals without the influence of others’ opinions.

2. Work Consistently
The more you work quietly and consistently toward your goals, the more motivation you build. As you accomplish small milestones, you’ll experience a natural sense of achievement that will keep you moving forward, without needing external praise.

3. Find Motivation Within
Draw motivation from your own passion and vision for the future. When your drive comes from within, it’s more sustainable and less reliant on outside influences. Trust in your ability to achieve your goals without needing others’ approval.

4. Share Only with Trusted Supporters
If you feel the need to share your goals, choose wisely. Only share with people who will support you and offer constructive feedback. Avoid individuals who are more likely to criticize or discourage you.

The Benefits of Keeping Your Goals Private

1. Focused Action: Without distractions or external judgments, you can focus on the process of achieving your goals, rather than seeking approval.

2. Reduced Pressure: You can work at your own pace and avoid unnecessary stress caused by others’ expectations.

3 Stronger Commitment: By internalizing your goals, you make them more personal and meaningful, which increases your commitment to them.

Conclusion

While it’s natural to want to share your dreams, ultimately, keeping your goals to yourself can actually lead to greater long-term motivation. Instead of seeking external validation, focus on your internal drive, trust in your ability, and stay committed to your own path. By doing so, you’ll build the momentum you need for continuous progress and success. In the long run, working quietly towards your goals will help you stay on track and achieve the success you desire.

Have you ever noticed how easily we can spot flaws in others while turning a blind eye to our own shortcomings? It’s a fascinating quirk of human behaviour, reflecting deeper questions about our moral compass and self-awareness. What drives this tendency to judge others more harshly than we judge ourselves? Exploring these dynamics offers a window into the complexities of human nature and the origins of our ethical beliefs. Let’s unravel this intriguing phenomenon together and ponder how it shapes our interactions and understanding of ourselves.

What Psychology says:

The reluctance to acknowledge our own faults often stems from a blend of psychological defences and social influences. Psychologically, admitting fault can threaten our self-image and ego(Identity). It requires confronting aspects of ourselves that may be uncomfortable or even painful to acknowledge. As a result, we may employ defence mechanisms such as denial or projection—attributing our own shortcomings onto others—to protect our fragile sense of self-worth.

How do we Protect of our ego’s

Failures are our own doing. Do we agree that it often come from not understanding our own strengths or the effort needed to reach our goals? It’s tough on our ego, isn’t it? Habitually its easier for us to blame things like bad luck, fate, or other people because that way we don’t have to deal with a bruised ego (Personal and social identities).

Blaming others might save your ego in the short term, but it can lead to more frequent failures, unnecessary anxiety and may put you into depression. That’s because we miss out on the chance to improve ourselves. Sure, working on ourselves doesn’t guarantee success every time, but it can definitely reduce the chances of failing.

The environment we grow up in plays a big role here. From a young age, we learn what’s acceptable and what’s not in our community. This often makes us more likely to shift the blame onto others instead of facing the consequences of our own actions.

On top of that, comparing ourselves to others complicates things. By focusing on others’ flaws, we might get a quick boost to our self-esteem, but this usually means we’re avoiding a genuine look at ourselves. Let’s be aware of these patterns and focus on taking responsibility for our own growth.

Spiritual Insight:

Because we’re so fixated on looking outward rather than inward, our minds find it easier to magnify the faults of others while remaining blind to our own. It’s like wearing glasses that only see imperfections in others, leaving our own flaws unnoticed in the blur. This brings to mind a famous quote by Sadhguru:

Your ability to see your own faults is very limited. Other people can see your faults much better. But their ability to see their faults is also very limited, so it evens out. 

We need to change ourselves. We need to go from compulsive state to conscious state. We need to become introvert to know the self : Sadhguru : Founder of Isha Foundation

Where Does Our Conscience Come From?

Our conscience—the inner voice that guides our moral decisions and judgments—develops through a more nuanced interplay of factors:

• Developmental Stages: During our childhood and teenage years, we learn about morals from our parents, friends, and society. These early experiences build the foundation for our understanding of what is right and what is wrong.
• Cultural and Social Influences: Cultural values and societal norms play a significant role in shaping our sense of right and wrong. They define what behaviour are seen as good or bad in different societies. These influences differ greatly between cultures and affect how people view and deal with moral challenges
• Innate Moral Capacity: Some theorists argue for an innate moral sense—a foundational predisposition towards empathy, fairness, and altruism that underpins our conscience. This inherent capacity interacts with our experiences and upbringing to mold our ethical reasoning.
• Reflection and Experience: As we navigate life’s complexities, our conscience evolves through reflection on our actions and their consequences. This introspective process allows us to refine our moral judgment and develop a deeper understanding of our ethical responsibilities towards ourselves and others.

The Path to Personal Growth

Acknowledging our tendency to overlook faults in ourselves while scrutinizing others is the first step towards personal growth and ethical maturity. It demands cultivating self-awareness, humility, and a willingness to engage in honest self-reflection.

By understanding the origins of our conscience—rooted in both innate capacities and external influences—we gain insight into the complexities of moral decision-making. It underscores the importance of nurturing a robust moral compass that guides us towards integrity, empathy, and accountability in our interactions with the world.

In conclusion, unravelling the intricacies of why we ignore our faults and where our conscience originates invites us to explore the depths of human nature and the transformative power of self-awareness. It challenges us to strive towards a more compassionate and conscientious existence—one where introspection and empathy pave the way towards personal fulfilment and harmonious relationships.

Let us embark on this journey of self-discovery and ethical inquiry, for therein lies the key to a more enlightened understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

Techniques for Overcoming Bias

Overcoming the tendency to overlook our own faults while scrutinizing others requires conscious effort and a commitment to personal growth. Here are two powerful techniques that can be effective in addressing the tendency to overlook faults in ourselves:

Reframing

This technique involves changing the way you mentally represent a situation or behavior. When you find yourself criticizing others, consciously reframe the situation by considering how you might be prone to similar behaviours or attitudes. This helps to balance your perspective and promote self-awareness.

• Original Thought 1: “My friend never replies to my texts. She must not care about me.”

• Reframed Thought 1: “Maybe my friend has been really busy or overwhelmed lately. I’ve also had times when I didn’t respond quickly. I’ll check in with her to see if she’s okay.”
• Original Thought 2: “My coworker is always late. It’s so frustrating.”
• Reframed Thought 2: “Maybe they’re dealing with something I don’t know about. I’ve been late before too.”

Model Questioning

The self-questioning encourages asking specific questions to clarify and challenge limiting beliefs or generalizations. When you notice yourself making sweeping judgments about others, use Model questions such as “What specifically do I mean by that?” or “How do I know this to be true?” This helps to uncover underlying assumptions and encourages more accurate and balanced thinking.

Example Situation: You overhear someone making a decision you disagree with and immediately label them as “irresponsible” or “incompetent.”

Model Questions:

• “What specifically do I mean by ‘irresponsible’? Is it based on facts or assumptions?”
• “Have I ever made a decision that others might have disagreed with? What was my reasoning?”
• “How do I know this person’s choice was wrong? Could there be factors I’m unaware of?”

Why it works: By questioning your assumptions and generalizations, you challenge your automatic judgments. It helps you pause before labeling someone, encouraging deeper reflection and reducing bias. Model questioning helps uncover hidden biases and fosters more open-minded thinking.

In conclusion, while we are born with a foundational sense of right and wrong, our upbringing and societal norms play crucial roles in refining our moral compass. Some teachings may emphasize that “we are all different, and our choices shape our lives,” while others may imply that “you must be perfect or you are perfect, and every outcome of your efforts should be flawless.” Recognizing these biases is essential for personal growth and ethical development. By cultivating self-awareness, humility, and a willingness to honestly reflect on ourselves, we can begin to overcome these tendencies. Understanding the origins of our conscience offers profound insights into human nature and underscores the importance of nurturing qualities such as integrity, empathy, and accountability in our interactions. This journey of self-discovery and ethical exploration invites us to strive for a more compassionate and conscientious existence, fostering not only personal fulfilment but also harmonious relationships with others. Let us embrace this journey as an opportunity to deepen our understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

We all want to feel joyful, happy, and excited — happiness is what makes us feel alive and energized. Isn’t it ? So, why is it that so many people these days feel unhappy? The truth is, the reasons behind unhappiness are created by ourselves. Don’t be shocked — it’s a reality many of us overlook! So, what is it that makes happiness so hard to attain? Let’s dig into why this happens.

“I’ll be happy when I get my first iPhone, car, or house?” The excitement is real when you finally get it, but after a week or so, the thrill fades, and you find yourself searching for the next thing to bring happiness. You start thinking, “Maybe once I travel to that dream destination,” or “When I get that promotion at work, that’ll make me happy.” It’s a cycle many of us fall into — thinking happiness comes from things like friends, parties, trips, gifts, or relationships, only to realize it doesn’t last.

Now the question is: What is happiness if this isn’t it? After all, everyone is doing it, and they seem happy. So, what’s the catch?

If material things, accomplishments, and experiences don’t bring lasting joy, then what truly makes us happy? It seems like everyone is on this same path, chasing after the next big thing, and they appear happy while doing it. But when does it end?

Is there something more to happiness than just a series of achievements and possessions?

What is it that makes happiness so hard to attain?

1. Problem of If-then” thinking

Many of us are living in a constant state of “if-then” thinking. We tell ourselves, “If I get that promotion, then I’ll be happy,” or “If I go on that vacation, then I’ll be happy.” We attach our happiness to external outcomes, thinking that achieving or acquiring something will bring us lasting joy. But this mindset only leads to disappointment when the happiness doesn’t last. We might feel good for a while, but soon, we’re back in the cycle of seeking the next big thing.

2. Unrealistic Expectations

We live in a world of constant comparisons, more than ever before. Before the internet, life was simpler and we felt more content because we focused on our own lives, not comparing ourselves to others. Now, social media, ads, and society make it look like there’s a perfect life that guarantees happiness. But the truth is, no life is perfect. Those “happy” couples on Instagram or Facebook sometimes spend an hour arguing just to get the perfect selfie on vacation. The influencers making millions today worked hard for years to get there. Even the influencers wearing stylish outfits and attending parties are dealing with stress, sleep deprivation, and the pressure of constantly planning new content. This is the real story behind their “happy” lives. When we set unrealistically high expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment. We often forget that true happiness doesn’t come from perfection — it comes from accepting life and our people as they are, not how we want them to be.

3. The Pursuit of External Validation

Another major reason for the unhappiness we all feel today is our constant search for external validation. — whether it’s success at work, approval from others, material possessions like gifts or lavish celebrations to post on social media, or romantic relationships .

Sometimes, we seek validation to cover up our unconscious fears of what others think of our lives — like feeling “poor,” not being married into a wealthy family, or not having a high-paying partner. We crave approval through likes on social media, compliments from friends or our partner, or recognition at work and social events.

While a bit of validation can lift our mood and give us a dopamine boost, relying on it too much leaves us feeling empty when that feeling fades. That’s why we constantly search for new things to make us happy.

When our happiness depends on what others think of us, like show off our success with job titles, bank balances, or our social status, we lose control of our own joy.

All such things can bring joy, they’re not sustainable sources of happiness. External validation often comes with the risk of being dependent on factors outside of our control. Real happiness comes from within — from self-acceptance, resilience, and a positive mindset, not the approval of others.

4. Fear of Change

Change is inevitable, but it often comes with discomfort. Whether it’s a new job, a relationship, or relocating to a different place, change introduces uncertainty, which can lead to anxiety. Many people cling to old patterns and routines because they offer a sense of safety, even if those habits no longer bring happiness. This could include surrounding ourselves with lazy, unproductive friends, toxic relationships, a mentally draining workplace. However, embracing change is crucial for growth and finding new ways to achieve happiness.

5. Negative Thought Patterns

Many people have negative thoughts, like feeling unsure of themselves, thinking things will go wrong, or overthinking situations. These thoughts can make it hard to see the good things in life. As I said, sometimes we are the reason we can’t find lasting happiness. We often get stuck in old habits and routines because they feel safe, even if they don’t make us happy. These habits might include being lazy, putting things off, always comparing ourselves to others, trying too hard to please people, finding it hard to say “no,” or having a messy routine that makes us feel like we never have enough time. These things can stop us from enjoying life and feeling truly happy.

6. Past Trauma or Negative Experiences

Unresolved emotional pain from the past, like bad memories or images of hurtful events, can make it hard to feel happy. For example, if someone went through a tough experience, like a divorce, they might have bad memories or images in their mind of arguments, sadness, or things that hurt them.

These thoughts can stick with them for a long time and make them feel sad, scared, or worried, even when things are better now, the pain from the past can still affect how someone feels. They might suddenly feel sad or upset for no clear reason. This can happen because the bad memories or feelings are still there, even if life has improved.

Sometimes, they might even start to self-sabotage, meaning they might do things that hurt their own happiness without realizing it, like pushing people away or not trying their best. This happens because the old pain makes it hard for them to fully trust that things can be good or to believe they deserve happiness. Until they can face these memories and heal from them, it can be hard for them to feel truly happy.

7. Lack of Purpose or Fulfilment:

Another major reason for feeling unhappy is the lack of purpose in our lives. Many people follow a set path that society expects—like getting a good job at 24, marrying by 28, owning a house and car by 30, having kids, and then raising them until the end of life.

This is a common pattern many people copy from others, without considering that everyone is unique and has different needs, challenges, and dreams.

This deep-rooted belief in following a “one-size-fits-all” life plan can make us feel disconnected from our true selves. We often struggle to find meaning or fulfilment in our daily lives because we’re not living according to our own values and desires.

Without personal or professional goals that resonate with who we really are, we may feel empty or lost, which can lead to a sense of unhappiness

8. Mental Health Struggles

Conditions like depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges can make happiness feel far away or impossible to reach. These struggles can change the way we see things, making it hard to feel joy or find meaning in life. Because of this, Some people turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol, smoking, scrolling through Netflix or social media, or even using drugs.

These substances may give a quick, temporary feeling of happiness or a “dopamine rush,” but it’s fake and short-lived. In the long run, these habits only make things worse and can deepen feelings of emptiness or sadness, preventing true happiness from ever being fully experienced.

Instead of helping us heal or find true happiness, these habits can make it harder to deal with our problems and can even make us feel more disconnected from our real needs and desires.

9. Perfectionism

Striving for perfection in all aspects of life can create constant dissatisfaction. The pressure to “get everything right” can lead to burnout, stress, and a sense that happiness is always just out of reach.

LASTING HAPINESS IS IN OUR OWN HAND, YES THATS TRUE!

Attaining lasting happiness is a journey that involves developing habits, changing mindsets, and taking care of our mental and emotional health. Here are some self-help tools to help you work towards lasting happiness:

1. Practice Gratitude

• Tool: Keep a gratitude journal.
• How: Write down three things you’re grateful for every day. They can be big or small, like a nice meal or spending time with a friend. This process helps reverse the brain’s natural tendency toward negative thinking or negative self-talk. Over time, this practice can rewire your brain to focus more on the positive, creating a healthier, more optimistic and lasting happiness feeling & outlook on life.
• You can reach us through “Contact Form” to get free gratitude journal .

2. Surround Yourself with Positivity

• Tool: Create a positive environment.
• How: Spend time with people who lift you up. join groups and community working toward self growth. Limit your time with people who are negative or toxic. Also, try to create a positive, inspiring space in your home or workspace by adding things that make you happy, like photos, plants, or artwork.

3. Sleep Well

• Tool: Establish a bedtime routine.
• How: Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night. Create a calming routine before bed, such as reading (no phone), taking a warm bath, or practicing relaxation techniques, listening sleep frequency music. Good sleep is essential for mental clarity, restoration of neural patterns in brain and emotional stability.

4. Write Small Wins

• Tool: Acknowledge progress.
• How: Take time to write down your everyday small achievements. Small wins are the little successes and positive steps we take each day that add up over time. They might seem insignificant at first, but they can have a big impact on our happiness and confidence. Whether it’s finishing a task, taking a moment for self-care, listening to book summery on you tube, using of microwave first time ,wearing western first time in public or overcoming any other small challenge, celebrating these small wins helps us feel accomplished ,confident and motivated. Recognizing small wins shifts our focus from what we haven’t done yet to what we’ve already achieved, boosting our sense of progress and well-being. Every little step forward is a victory that brings us closer to lasting happiness.

CONCLUSION:

In essence, happiness is often challenged by a combination of inner struggles, external pressures, and mental barriers. Understanding and addressing these factors can help foster greater contentment.

Remember, lasting happiness comes from within. It’s about building habits that support your well-being, letting go of negative patterns, and focusing on what makes you feel good not to others . Be patient with yourself as you take these steps, and know that happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Have you ever wondered why “sharing stuff with friends & family” is so glorified?

Before we explore its perceived importance, let’s ponder this: Could feelings of loneliness, perhaps, stem from holding back our thoughts or from comparing ourselves to idealized versions on social media and within social setups?

The fact is that a significant majority—about 90%—of people lack deep self-awareness. Instead, many adhere to societal norms without genuine introspection, a behaviour learned from an early age.

Consequently, this raises the question: Could there be more to loneliness than meets the eye? Let’s explore this further.

Inherent Capability and Emotional Resilience

The human species possesses the inherent capability to manage our emotions independently. However, this vital skill is hardly taught effectively—whether at home, in school, or anywhere else.

As a result, we end up with a gap in our emotional resilience, which ultimately leads to loneliness and rising cases of anxiety and depression.

This happens because we are constantly looking for people to share with and spend time with to overcome our loneliness. However, in today’s digital age, everyone is busy with their own lives.

Early Conditioning and Social Interaction

From an early age, we’re told to talk and share with others instead of focusing on self-reflection and writing things down on a daily basis.

As a result, this wires our brains to think that without constant chatter and sharing, we can’t tackle loneliness.

Moreover, with the pressures of modern life, we’re short on time and have fewer interactions, which further reinforces this belief, leading us to think that we cannot maintain mental well-being without regular meeting ,sharing and engagement with friends, family and peers.

Root Causes of Loneliness

I’m not here advocating that we should cut ourselves off from socializing altogether—connecting with others is an important part of being a social animal.

However, we need to recognize that feelings of loneliness often stem from deeper issues, such as lacking purpose, feeling unfulfilled in our daily routines or lifestyle, and not having clear goals or passions to pursue.

These factors contribute to the sense of monotony and joylessness that many experience in their daily lives, especially after their thirties, when responsibilities mainly revolve around family obligations.

Furthermore, this phenomenon is increasingly affecting youngsters as well due to various reasons like social media, instant gratification and comparison, pressure to succeed, changing family dynamics, lack of authentic connections, uncertainty and future anxiety, and cultural norms and expectations.

Addressing these issues, therefore, requires a holistic approach.

Strategies for Combatting Loneliness

To combat loneliness effectively, it’s imperative to address its roots. This begins with introspective practices such as journaling, exploring insightful books, setting clear goals, pursuing passions, and most important fostering positive and empowering self-talks.

Disempowering thoughts and beliefs:

• I feel isolated because I don’t have friends to confide in.
• My thoughts and feelings don’t matter since there’s no one to listen.
• I can’t find solutions to my problems because I have no one to bounce ideas off.
• I’m missing out on meaningful connections and experiences because I don’t have close friends.
• Without friends, life feels empty and lacking in purpose.
• I struggle to express myself because I don’t have a supportive social circle.
• I feel disconnected from others and unable to relate to people around me.
• I’m destined to be lonely because I haven’t found anyone who understands me.
• I’m not worthy of friendships or meaningful relationships.
• My happiness depends on having someone to share my life with.

Positive and empowering self-talks:

• I find true fulfilment by nurturing my inner peace and self-awareness.
• I trust in my own abilities to create joy and fulfilment in my life.
• I am complete and whole within myself, regardless of external circumstance.
• I embrace my independence and cherish the connections I do have.
• I am surrounded by love and support, even if I don’t always see it.

These type of self-talks or affirmations can help shift the focus away from disempowering beliefs about loneliness and encourage a positive mindset towards self-worth, resilience, and attracting fulfilling relationships. (Technique 2))

By gaining clarity on our authentic selves and identifying our fundamental needs & Personality type, we pave the way not only to navigate loneliness but also to forge deeper, more meaningful connections.

Conclusion: Holistic Approach to Well-being

In essence, while social interaction has its merits, true fulfilment lies in the balance between external connections and internal self-reliance.

By nurturing both, we embark on a journey towards holistic personal growth and emotional well-being.

Therefore, I encourage you to begin by identifying the true sources of loneliness—the root causes—and understanding your authentic self and core needs.

Ultimately, this self-awareness is essential for effectively addressing and navigating through feelings of loneliness.

Ever felt like your greatest qualities are being misunderstood or even undervalued? It’s a common experience: society often distorts our strengths into weaknesses, creating self-doubt and demotivation. Many people experience this when their simplicity is perceived as naivety in a world that often values cunning and complexity. The belief that “Being simple” equates to being too naïve to survive is a common distortion and wrong belief of child development by parents.

Being simple is not a crime—it’s a valuable trait that should be embraced, not dismissed. The challenge often lies in changing societal and familial perceptions that equate simplicity with naivety or inadequacy. Here’s how to navigate this and shift these perceptions:

Misguided Parenting Beliefs

Parents should prioritize fostering genuine intelligence and emotional resilience in their children, rather than trying to mold them into reflections of a cunning world. This approach often stems from misguided fears about survival and the erroneous belief that duplicating the world’s complexity is essential. Instead, focusing on nurturing a child’s authentic strengths and critical thinking skills will better equip them for success and well-being in any environment.

Foster a Growth Mindset

Encouraging a growth mindset is really important. This means teaching kids to see challenges and failures as chances to learn and grow. When children have this mindset, they become more resilient(means being able to recover quickly from difficulties or adapt well to challenges and changes). They learn to tackle tough situations without having to be sneaky or manipulative. Instead of just focusing on getting by, they focus on learning and improving.

Recognize the Value of Authenticity

For instance: Neha noticed a colleague was jealous of her projects. Instead of getting defensive , stressed or gossiping, Neha dealt with it by offering to work together and share her ideas . Neha also highlight and praise her colleague’s skills and contributions, fostering a more positive relationship. Staying focused on her work and avoiding drama help her maintain credibility and respect in the workplace.

Encouraging kids to be themselves, instead of copying tricky behaviors they see around them, can lead to happier and more fulfilling lives. Being true to who they are helps them build real, meaningful relationships and a strong sense of self-worth. When children learn to appreciate their own unique qualities, they’re better equipped to face life’s challenges with honesty and confidence

Encouraging kids to be themselves, instead of copying tricky behaviors they see around them, can lead to happier and more fulfilling lives. Being true to who they are helps them build real, meaningful relationships and a strong sense of self-worth. When children learn to appreciate their own unique qualities, they’re better equipped to face life’s challenges with honesty and confidence

Educate on Ethical and Empathetic Behaviour

Teaching children about ethics and empathy helps them appreciate the importance of honesty and kindness in their interactions. Instead of learning to manipulate or outsmart others, children who understand ethical behavior are better equipped to build strong relationships and make decisions based on their values. This solid foundation supports their long-term success and well-being, rather than fostering fear about survival.

Guilt of Right & Wrong

We should not just get rid of emotions as they contain valuable information that guides and grows us if approached correctly and without resistance or judgment.
This goes for any emotion. Be it shame, fear, anxiety, apathy, anger, joy, courage, sadness, grief and guilt. Here’s how you approach guilt the healthy way :

Understand the Purpose

The whole purpose of guilt is to make us aware when we are behaving and acting out of character, when we are losing or compromising our integrity and when we did something wrong or hurt someone else. So, when we feel guilty, it’s a sign that our moral compass is still working .
Discover and reflect on guilt nature . Dive deep into the heart of guilt and discover whether it is a friend or foe in your life. Explore the difference between rational and irrational guilt, and learn how to distinguish your emotions. #Discover how to untangle the complexities of guilt and understand the underlying reasons for your feelings.

Rational Guilt

It’s a feeling of remorse and regret that we experience when we really screwed up or when whatever we said or did directly caused harm to other. I.e. when you cheated on someone or physically hurt them.
This is the type of guilt we are supposed to act on through apologizing, improving our #behaviour and committing to growth.
Those feelings of remorse and regret are supposed to hold you accountable and show you areas where you’re not acting in accordance to who you think you are and who you want to be. When you act on this guilt, it greatly helps to forgive yourself and to let it go.

Irrational Guilt

Irrational Guilt is based on low #Self-Esteem and experienced when you take responsibility for things you didn’t do and aren’t responsible for at all. For instance, when you feel guilty for ending a relationship that was toxic to both you and the other. Why isn’t it productive to feel guilty for ending it? Because you’ve been real and did what you thought was best for you and them.

Never apologize or feel guilty for being real !

This type of guilt has to be approached with a focus on building stronger boundaries. On reminding yourself what you can and cannot control, what you are responsible for and what you aren’t responsible for.

Forgive Yourself

It can be very difficult to forgive yourself when you are really screwed up and know for a fact that whatever suffering someone else experiences is the by product and consequence of your words, actions, decisions and behaviours.

However, as long as you are committed to personal growth, genuinely apologize and improve your behaviour, it’s safe to forgive yourself for and grow through past mistakes since you hold yourself accountable and fully understand why the thing you said or did was wrong.

Call it guilt, fear, anger, or hatred – essentially, it means your thoughts and emotions are working against you – Sadhguru

As for the other person that got hurt, you cannot control if and when they accept your apology. They may never forgive you or they may find the space in their heart to let go of the past and move on.

However, if they do the latter, it doesn’t mean they will take you back. All it means is that they freed themselves from the resentment that kept poisoning them. #Practice mindfulness techniques to help you detach from your thoughts and emotions

By Guest Author: Daniel Subk

Explore Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Always Yield Expected Results

Why does it seem like positive thinking sometimes backfires, while a bit of negativity leads to unexpected success?

The myth popularized by the Law of Attraction suggests that simply thinking positively, will magically manifest desired outcomes, but the reality is much more complex.

Discover how the dynamic between our thoughts and results is more nuanced than we’re led to believe. By understanding this interplay, you can refine your approach, blending optimism with practical actions to turn both positive and negative situations to your advantage.

Why positive thinking seems to lead to negative outcomes and negative thinking to Positive outcomes ?

This thing involves various psychological, behavioral, and situational factors. Often, we disconnect from reality by viewing positive thinking as a magical solution. We might pressure ourselves by believing that positive thoughts alone should guarantee the outcomes we expect. This approach to positive thinking is misguided and unrealistic. Here’s why:

1. Unrealistic Expectations

Unreasonable Pressure:

When we tie our expectations of outcomes strictly to our positive thoughts, we put undue pressure on ourselves. This pressure can lead to heightened stress and anxiety, which may ultimately hinder our performance and reduce the likelihood of achieving the desired
outcome.

Disappointment:

If the outcome doesn’t meet our expectations, despite our positive thinking, we may experience significant disappointment. This can lead to a feeling of failure, even though the results may have been influenced by factors beyond our control.

3. Ignoring Practicalities

Real-World Challenges:

Positive thinking should complement practical action, not replace it. By focusing solely on positive thoughts, we may neglect the necessary planning, effort, and problem-solving
required to navigate real-world challenges effectively.

Overlooking Effort:

Positive thinking is not a substitute for hard work and practical strategies. Outcomes are influenced by many factors, including effort, skills, and external conditions. Simply
thinking positively without addressing these factors can lead to unmet expectations.

Realistic Optimism:

Positive thinking should involve a realistic assessment of what can be achieved. It’s about maintaining hope and motivation while also acknowledging and preparing for potential obstacles.

Action-Oriented:

Combine positive thinking with concrete actions and strategies. Focus on setting achievable goals, taking practical steps, and adapting to changing circumstances.

4. Balanced Approach

Realistic Optimism:

Positive thinking should involve a realistic assessment of what can be achieved. It’s about maintaining hope and motivation while also acknowledging and preparing for potential obstacles.

5. Effective Positive Thinking

Mindset with Action:

Positive thinking works best when it’s paired with proactive measures and realistic planning. It’s about fostering a positive outlook while remaining grounded in reality and addressing
the practical aspects of achieving goals.

Resilience and Adaptability:

Embrace a mindset that is resilient and adaptable. Understand that positive thinking alone won’t guarantee specific outcomes, but it can help you stay motivated and resilient in the face of challenges.

Conclusion

Believing that the positive thinking or  Law of Attraction will work without taking concrete actions is a common misconception. The Law of Attraction suggests that focusing on positive thoughts can help you manifest your desires, but it requires more than just wishful thinking. To achieve meaningful results, positive thinking must be paired with practical steps, realistic planning, and active effort.

Additionally, it’s important to approach your goals with flexibility, rather than rigidly expecting the outcome to align perfectly with your exact thoughts or desires. Being adaptable helps turn positive thinking into real success, rather than seeing any differences from your expectations as failures.

Quotes :

Serve as condensed expressions of wisdom and insight that can profoundly impact individuals by offering guidance, inspiration, and a deeper understanding of
themselves and the world around them.