Answer:  Anger manifests both in actions and
words, making it a powerful emotion. 

#Emotions contain
valuable information that guides and grows us if approached correctly and
without resistance or judgment.

Without emotions, we
cannot feel good or bad in our lives. Consider this: 

To truly appreciate
happiness, we must first understand the depths of sadness. To truly
understand the positive, we must first feel the negative.

Explore the post for deeper insights
into the understanding of emotion.

The Hidden Force Steering Your Thoughts and Emotions

Answer:

• Recognize Your Limits: Understand
  that you have limits to your time, energy, and resources. Saying no is
  necessary to protect these limits and prevent burnout.

Use “I”
Statements: When declining a request, use “I” statements to take
ownership of your decision. For example, say, “I’m unable to commit to
this right now” instead of making excuses or blaming external factors.

• Offer Alternatives (If
  Appropriate): If you feel comfortable, offer alternatives or compromises
  when saying no. This can help soften the impact and show that you’re still
  willing to help within your limits.
• Reflect on Your
  Values: Regularly reflect on your values and goals in life. This can
  reinforce your commitment to prioritizing what matters most to you and saying
  no to distractions or obligations that don’t align.

With practice &
Patience one can get comfortable saying “No” and prioritizing yourself. 

Also Do practice exercise “In
my control zone /out of control zone” , and this will help with getting over
guilt feeling . Technique
1

Answer: Yes, Self-confidence is a significant quality
of a person.

It’s the belief in
one’s #abilities, #judgments, and #worth. When someone is self-confident, they’re
more likely to pursue their goals, handle challenges, and interact with others
in a positive and assertive manner. However, it’s important to note that
self-confidence isn’t a static trait; it can fluctuate depending on various
factors such as experiences, successes, failures, and external influences. So,
while it’s valuable, it’s also something that can be cultivated and developed
over time.

Focus to improve
self-esteem and that will naturally give a boost to self-confidence.

#Self-esteem reflects
your overall sense of worth (Self-acceptance or self-image), and #self-confidence is about believing in your capabilities to achieve specific
tasks or goals. Both are important for mental well-being and success, but they
focus on different aspects of the self.

For
example, someone might feel confident in their ability to play sports but less
so when it comes to public speaking. Self-confidence is often built through
experience, practice, and feedback.

Q 1: Is it possible for someone to have a high level of emotional intelligence (EQ) while also appearing emotionally cold towards others?

Q4: Can you explain the difference between “low” and “lower” in terms of esteem?

1. Low Self-Esteem: “Low self-esteem” refers to a general and prolonged lack of confidence, self-worth, and positive self-regard. Individuals with low self-esteem may struggle with feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and negative self-perceptions across various aspects of their lives, such as relationships, work, and personal achievements. Low self-esteem can have a significant impact on mental and emotional well-being, often leading to feelings of depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal.
2. Lower Self-Esteem: “Lower self-esteem,” on the other hand is temporary decrease in self-esteem relative to low esteem state For example, someone might experience lower self-esteem after experiencing a setback or failure, such as a rejection or criticism. In this context, “lower” implies a temporary or situational decrease in self-esteem rather than a chronic or pervasive state of low self-esteem.

 Q 1: Is it possible for someone to have a high level of emotional intelligence (EQ) while also appearing emotionally cold towards others?

What Is The Right Way To Tackle Getting Rid of Guilt?

We’re not supposed to just get rid of emotions as they contain valuable information that guides and grows us if approached correctly and without resistance or judgment. This goes for any emotion. Be it shame, fear, anxiety, apathy, anger, joy, courage, sadness, grief and guilt. Here’s how you approach guilt the healthy way:

Understand the Purpose

The whole purpose of guilt is to make us aware when we are behaving and acting out of character, when we are losing or compromising our integrity and when we did something wrong or hurt someone else. So, when we feel guilty, it’s a sign that our moral compass is still working.

Discover and Reflect on Guilt Nature

Dive deep into the heart of guilt and discover whether it is a friend or foe in your life.

Explore the difference between rational and irrational guilt, and learn how to distinguish your emotions. #Discover how to untangle the complexities of guilt and understand the underlying reasons for your feelings.

Rational Guilt

It’s a feeling of remorse and regret that we experience when we really screwed up or when, whatever we said or did directly caused harm on another. I.e. when you cheated on someone or physically hurt them. This is the type of guilt we are supposed to act on through apologizing, improving our #behaviour and committing to growth.

Those feelings of remorse and regret are supposed to hold you accountable and to show you in what areas you’re not acting in accordance to who you think you are and to who you want to be. When you act on this guilt, it greatly helps to forgive yourself and to let it go.

Irrational Guilt

Irrational #guilt is based on low #self-esteem and experienced when you take responsibility for things you didn’t do and aren’t responsible for at all.

I.e. when you feel guilty for ending a relationship that was toxic to both you and the other. Why isn’t it productive to feel guilty for ending it? Because you’ve been real and did what you thought was best for you and them.

Never apologize or feel guilty for being real.

This type of guilt has to be approached with a focus on building stronger boundaries. On reminding yourself what you can and cannot control, what you are responsible for and what you aren’t responsible for.

Forgive Yourself

It can be very difficult to forgive yourself when you royally screwed up and know for a fact that whatever suffering someone else experiences is the by product and consequence of your words, actions, decisions and behaviours. However, as long as you are committed to personal growth, genuinely apologize and improve your behavior, it’s safe to forgive yourself for and grow through past mistakes since you hold yourself accountable and fully understand why the thing you said or did was wrong.

Call it guilt, fear, anger, or hatred – essentially, it means your thoughts and emotions are working against you – Sadhguru

As for the other person that got hurt, you cannot control if and when they accept your apology.

They may never forgive you or they may find the space in their heart to let go of the past and move on. However, if they do the latter, it doesn’t mean they will take you back.

All it means is that they freed themselves from the resentment that kept poisoning them.

#Practice mindfulness techniques to help you detach from your thoughts and emotions.

By Guest Author:

 

 

 

Daniel Subke 

 

Overthinking and anxiety are terms that are often used interchangeably, but they actually have different meanings. While overthinking is when you can’t stop worrying about every little thing, anxiety, specifically, is a more generalized feeling of apprehension and uneasiness. Additionally, anxiety is often focused on the future.

In this post, I will discuss the differences between these two concepts, as well as share some strategies for managing them. Whether you’re dealing with overthinking or anxiety, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone and there are ways to cope.” 

People try to create an outwardly perfect life, but the quality of life is based on the inward- #Sadhguru

Introduction

Overthinking:

Overthinking refers to a repetitive process of dwelling on or obsessing over thoughts, events, or scenarios. In other words, it involves analyzing situations excessively, often focusing on potential negative outcomes or past events. As a result, overthinkers may have difficulty making decisions due to overanalysing possibilities and may feel stuck in a loop of thoughts without reaching resolution.

Anxity:

Anxiety is a broader emotional and physiological response to perceived threats or stressors. It involves feelings of worry, fear, or apprehension about future events, with a sense of unease or dread. Anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, and difficulty concentrating. It is often accompanied by irrational or excessive thoughts (worries) that are challenging to control.

Distinguishing Features

A) Focus:

• Overthinking: Focuses on repetitive thoughts and analysis of specific situations or events, often related to past experiences or decision-making.
• Anxiety: Focuses on future-oriented worries or fears about potential threats or negative outcomes.

B) Impact on Functioning:

• Overthinking: Can lead to indecision, difficulty concentrating on tasks, and a preoccupation with details that may not significantly impact daily functioning.
• Anxiety: Can significantly impair daily functioning, affecting work, relationships, and overall quality of life due to heightened stress responses and avoidance behaviors.

C) Physical Symptoms:

• Overthinking: May not always be accompanied by physical symptoms unless it escalates into anxiety or stress-related reactions.
• Anxiety: Often accompanied by physical symptoms such as tension, restlessness, gastrointestinal issues, and sleep disturbances.

D) Time Orientation:

• Overthinking: Often involves dwelling on past events or ruminating about current issues without necessarily projecting into the future.
• Anxiety: Primarily focuses on future concerns and potential threats, with an emphasis on anticipation and preparedness.

     Example Scenarios:

• Overthinking: Spending hours replaying a conversation in your mind, analyzing every word spoken and its potential implications.
• Anxiety: Feeling intense fear and dread about an upcoming presentation, accompanied by physical symptoms like sweating and a racing heartbeat.

Strategy To Overcome From Mental Trap:

Here are a few steps to Reframe negative thoughts into positive self-talk:

1. Identify negative thought patterns: Notice when you’re engaging in negative self-talk and identify the specific thoughts that are causing you distress.

• Example: You receive a critical comment on a project at work OR You start thinking about being alone in the future
• Thought: “I always mess things up. I’m such a failure / I’ll always be lonely. No one will want to be around me to take care”
• Negative: Thought Pattern: Overgeneralization (i.e., making broad conclusions based on a single event or limited experience or societal belief )

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Question whether the negative thoughts are yours, accurate or helpful. Ask yourself if there’s another way to look at the situation.

Evidence: Is there evidence to support this belief? Is there evidence to support the belief that you’ll always be lonely, or that no one will want to be around to care for you?

Alternative explanations: Are there other reasons this could have happened?/ Could there be other reasons you feel this way, or other possibilities for your future?

Is this helpful? How does this thought help or hinder me? / How does this thought about loneliness help or hinder me? Does it motivate me to take positive action or just increase fear of “what if”? Is it my belief or others ?

3.Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations: 

Choose positive statements that counteract the negative thoughts, such as “I am capable
and worthy,” or “I can handle whatever comes my way”

Affirmation: “I am capable of learning from feedback and improving my skills / I am worthy of close connections and support /I may feel lonely at times, but I am capable of building connections and finding people who care about me / i can set boundaries with family and friends who impose expectations.

Present Tense: “I am open to constructive criticism and use it to grow professionally”/I am open to building lasting, fulfilling relationships. Marriage is not the only relationship to lie happy and fulfilled

Believable: “I have successfully overcome challenges in the past and can do so again and again.”/I have formed meaningful connections in the past, and I am capable of doing so again. I can create the life of my dream”

4. Treatment Considerations:

• Overthinking: Mindfulness can be beneficial.
• Anxiety: Treatment may include therapy (e.g.,cognitive-behavioral therapy(CBT),Neural reprogramming ,Reframing ), medication, and stress management techniques like yoga ,mindfulness etc to reduce symptoms and improve coping skills.

Understanding these distinctions can help individuals identify whether they are experiencing overthinking, anxiety, or potentially both, and seek appropriate support or strategies for managing their mental health effectively.

Understanding the differences between overthinking and anxiety can be crucial for recognizing and managing these mental states effectively. Here’s a questionnaire to help distinguish between overthinking and anxiety:

5. Self Help Technique :

Overthinking vs. Anxiety Questionnaire

Feel free to use this questionnaire to reflect on your own thoughts and feelings related to overthinking and anxiety, and to help differentiate between these two mental states. Technique 3

Social Attitudes and Misconceptions: Unpacking the Roots
of Mental Health Stigma

The social stigma attached to mental illness is one of the
main cause due to which this problem remains untreated and is increasing day by
day leading to further health related problems such as heart attacks, cancer,
High Blood Pressure, Sugar and so on. The irony is when a person has a physical
illness, they are treated sympathetically, but if someone is suffering

from
mental illness, they are often ridiculed, and people treat them as inferior
beings. Our society values willpower and mental toughness and is quick to label
anyone.

 This is the main reason why many people hide their
mental health issues and this makes it harder for individuals to openly discuss
their struggles. This lack of awareness and acceptance amplifies the challenges
people face when dealing with mental health issues. The fear of judgment and
the prevailing misconceptions about these conditions contribute to a culture of
silence, where individuals endure their suffering quietly instead of seeking
the help they may need. Breaking down these societal barriers is crucial to
creating an environment where people feel comfortable talking about and
addressing their mental health.

It is indeed time to take a proactive stance against the
social stigma surrounding mental illness and treat it with the same empathy and
understanding as other health conditions. This involves fostering a more open
and accepting society where individuals feel comfortable discussing their
mental health issues without fear of judgment.

For this it is necessary to promote education and awareness
about mental health. This includes schools, workplace, media and communities
fostering discussions on importance of self-care and mental well-being.

By promoting the understanding that mental health conditions
can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background may normalise
seeking help for mental health concerns.  This can involve sharing stories
of individuals who have sought treatment and highlighting the positive impact
of early intervention.

Acknowledgement of individuals who have overcome mental
health challenges can help inspire others and reduce the stigma associated with
seeking help. Individuals can feel accepted regardless of their mental health
status.

Taking these steps, we can collectively work towards
creating a more compassionate and informed society that recognizes mental
health as an integral part of overall well-being.

Article Written By: Pamposh Pokhariyal

Book Published: Unlock the magic of optimism – Shaping your world
through a positive mind setUnlock the magic of optimism – Shaping your worldthrough a positive mind set

Author Introduction and link to by book online

Hey everyone, In today’s post I want to talk about an important emotion that we all experience
at some point or another: SHAME!

It’s that uncomfortable, embarrassing, guilty feeling we get when we’ve done something wrong or when others make us feel bad about ourselves or a situation. It’s a pretty heavy emotion, but it’s something we all have to deal with in our lives, and in the case of child abuse, victims deal with it every dam day!

It involves a deep feeling of unworthiness or humiliation, often accompanied by a desire to hide or withdraw from others like they have done something wrong against society’s standards or expectations. 

Shame is indeed an emotion, it manifests as a feeling within us.

Hidden Powers and Purposes of Feelings (Revealed)

Without emotions, we cannot feel good or bad in our lives. Consider this: 

To truly appreciate happiness, we must first understand the depths of sadness. To truly understand the positive, we must first feel the negative.

This just reminding me of  Ed Shreen Song “Passenger” which beautifully illustrates the importance of understanding and learning from our emotions and feelings.

Emotions are actually chemicals released in response to our interpretation of a specific trigger. Once an emotion is generated, feelings arise in our body.

The Roots of Shame: Uncovering the Hidden Factors

Shame can arise from both inside us, like our own beliefs and values, and outside us,
like what society expects and how it judges us. 

Shame can be triggered by various factors, including:

Social Norms and Expectations: When the individual believe that they have failed to meet societal or cultural
standards of behavior, appearance, or achievement, they may experience shame. 

Example: Experiencing judgment from peers for choosing to pursue a non-traditional hobby or career path, creates feelings of judgment, shame, and hesitation in disclosing it proudly in social settings.

Feeling scared and embarrassed when a parent hurts you, but you don’t tell anyone because you’re worried about what people might think if they find out.

Feeling shameful, coming from a middle-class family, among rich-class fellows. Due to shame emotion, one may feel embarrassed, and uncomfortable, resulting in low self-esteem.

Criticism and Rejection: Being criticized, rejected, or ridiculed by others, whether directly or indirectly,
can trigger feelings of shame and inadequacy. basically, these judgments are like a harsh spotlight on our faults and weaknesses, and they can really mess with our self-confidence.

Example: 

Feeling ashamed and inadequate after receiving a rejection letter from a job application, a person may feel shame discussing this topic, leading to self-doubt about their abilities and worth.

Feeling Ashamed of love rejection may lead to a generalized opinion that love is not good a feeling or should not proposed first.

Comparisons: Comparing oneself unfavorably to others, particularly in terms of achievements,
possessions, appearance, and family status, parent’s work profiles etc. can lead to feelings of inferiority and shame.

Example:

Sneha scrolling through social media, and sees a post from a friend who just got promoted at work, bought a new house, or went on a glamorous vacation, and suddenly, she starts feeling like she is not successful enough, not good enough, or not attractive enough. She starts thinking, “Why can’t I have that? Why am I not as successful/attractive/happy as they are?”

These comparisons can be a real killer for your self-esteem and can easily lead to feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and Shame.

Mistakes and Failures: Making mistakes or experiencing failures can evoke feelings of shame, especially if individuals believe they should have been able to prevent or avoid them.

Example:

Feeling ashamed and disappointed after receiving a poor grade on a test, leading to judgmental shame by others, self-doubt, and questioning own abilities.

Experiencing shame after failing a driving test, leads to a feeling of inadequacy and self-blame for not performing better and sometimes person gives up trying again or avoid such topic discussion due to shame.

Trauma and Childhood Abuse: Trauma and abuse can cause long-lasting scars, both physical and emotional. One of the worst things that can happen after abuse is the victim feeling ashamed like the abuse was their fault.

This is a huge problem in our society, where people who commit horrible acts are protected, and their victims are blamed and disbelieved. This backward system keeps people from coming forward and speaking out about their abuse. This vicious cycle of silence and self-blame keeps victims stuck in shame and self-loathing, making it harder for them to heal and move forward. We need to stop protecting abusers and shaming victims. We need to support victims and hold abusers accountable.

Perceived Inadequacy: Childhood trauma and abuse may lead to a feeling of inadequacy or “not good enough” in various areas of the life of a victim, such as relationships, work, or personal accomplishments, which can trigger shame.

Example:

Imagine Priya, haunted by childhood abuse. Though she’s ace at school, she still feels not good enough. At work, even when she is efficient, doubts cloud her confidence. In relationships, she’s always tries to seek approval, scared of being rejected because she perceives herself as inadequate. Every stumble brings a flood of shame, a reminder of old hurts.

Guilt and Self-Blame: Feeling guilty about past actions or choices, particularly if they have hurt others, can lead to shame, especially if individuals internalize the belief that they are inherently flawed or unworthy.

Cultural and Religious Beliefs: Cultural and religious beliefs about morality, purity, and propriety can contribute to feelings of shame when individuals perceive themselves as falling short of these ideals. 

Understanding these triggers can help individuals identify and address the underlying sources of shame and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Understanding the Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Child abuse can exacerbate feelings of shame in various ways, often intertwining with societal expectations and judgments:

Societal Expectations of Family Dynamics: Society often promotes an idealized image of the family unit, emphasizing love, care, and support. When a child experiences abuse within their family, it contradicts these societal expectations, leading to a sense of shame. The child may feel ashamed of their family situation and fear judgment from others if they reveal the abuse.

Judgment from Others: Children who experience abuse may also face judgment from others if they disclose their experiences. Society may blame or stigmatize the child or their family, leading to feelings of shame and isolation. This fear of judgment can prevent children from seeking help or speaking out about the abuse, further exacerbating their sense of shame.

Internalization of Blame: Children who are abused may internalize feelings of guilt and blame, believing that they are somehow responsible for the abuse. This internalized shame can be reinforced by societal attitudes that blame victims for their experiences. As a result, abused children may struggle with feelings of shame and self-loathing, believing that they are unworthy or deserving of the abuse they endured.

In short, societal expectations and judgments can intersect with experiences of child abuse, exacerbating feelings of shame and preventing children from seeking help or speaking out about their experiences. It’s crucial for society to challenge harmful attitudes and stereotypes surrounding child abuse and provide support and resources for affected individuals to overcome feelings of shame and heal from their trauma.

In adulthood, survivors of childhood sexual abuse may continue to grapple with shame, which can manifest in various ways in their life.

They may struggle with intimacy, have difficulty expressing their emotions, or experience feelings of inadequacy in different areas of their lives, such as work, relationships, and self-image.

Conquer Shame: Strategies for Overcoming Self-Judgment and Building Confidence

Overcoming shame caused by the actions of others can be challenging, but there are several
techniques that may help:

Recognize the Source: Understand that the shame you’re feeling is a result of someone else’s actions or words, not a reflection of your worth or identity. Recognizing the source of the shame can help you separate yourself from it and prevent it from defining you. A colleague’s public criticism can cause you to feel ashamed, but recognizing the source of this shame as a colleague’s behavior, rather than a personal flaw, can help you maintain self-worth.

Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the person who triggered your feelings of shame. Communicate assertively about how their actions or words affected you and what behaviors are unacceptable to you in the future. Setting boundaries can help protect your self-esteem and prevent similar incidents from occurring.

Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, acknowledging that you’re experiencing a difficult emotion as a result of someone else’s actions. Practice self-compassion by offering yourself the same empathy and support that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.

Write a letter by addressing yourself as if you are writing to a dear friend. Acknowledge a specific situation or challenge you’re currently facing that is causing you distress. Describe the situation briefly but with enough detail to clarify it in your mind. Offer words of kindness and encouragement to yourself. Imagine what you would say to a friend who is going through something similar. Be gentle and supportive. once you’ve completed writing the letter, read it aloud to yourself. Pay attention to the emotions that arise as you read each sentence. Notice any shifts in how you feel towards yourself. Allow yourself to receive the kindness and compassion you’ve expressed in the letter.

Challenge Negative Thoughts: Challenge any negative beliefs or thoughts about yourself that arise as a result of the other person’s actions. Remind yourself of your inherent worth and strengths, and question the validity of any beliefs that suggest otherwise. Technique 2

Focus on What You Can Control: Shift your focus away from the actions of the other person and toward what you can control in the situation. This might include how you choose to respond, how you take care of yourself, and how you set boundaries to protect your well-being. Technique 1

Seek Support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist for support and validation. Sharing your experiences with others who can offer empathy and understanding can help alleviate feelings of shame and isolation.

Practice Forgiveness: Consider practicing forgiveness as a way to release yourself from the grip of shame and resentment. This doesn’t necessarily mean condoning or excusing the other person’s actions, but rather freeing yourself from the emotional burden of holding onto anger and bitterness.

Focus on Personal Growth: Use
the experience as an opportunity for personal growth and learning. Reflect on what you can learn from the situation and how you can emerge stronger and more resilient as a result.

Remember that overcoming shame caused by others’ actions is a process that takes time and self-compassion. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to heal at your own pace. Healing from the deep rooted shame caused by childhood abuse can seem impossible, but with patience and self-compassion, you can learn to see yourself through different eyes

You are not defined by your past experiences or the words of others!