What Is The Right Way To Tackle Getting Rid of Guilt?

We’re not supposed to just get rid of emotions as they contain valuable information that guides and grows us if approached correctly and without resistance or judgment. This goes for any emotion. Be it shame, fear, anxiety, apathy, anger, joy, courage, sadness, grief and guilt. Here’s how you approach guilt the healthy way:

Understand the Purpose

The whole purpose of guilt is to make us aware when we are behaving and acting out of character, when we are losing or compromising our integrity and when we did something wrong or hurt someone else. So, when we feel guilty, it’s a sign that our moral compass is still working.

Discover and Reflect on Guilt Nature

Dive deep into the heart of guilt and discover whether it is a friend or foe in your life.

Explore the difference between rational and irrational guilt, and learn how to distinguish your emotions. #Discover how to untangle the complexities of guilt and understand the underlying reasons for your feelings.

Rational Guilt

It’s a feeling of remorse and regret that we experience when we really screwed up or when, whatever we said or did directly caused harm on another. I.e. when you cheated on someone or physically hurt them. This is the type of guilt we are supposed to act on through apologizing, improving our #behaviour and committing to growth.

Those feelings of remorse and regret are supposed to hold you accountable and to show you in what areas you’re not acting in accordance to who you think you are and to who you want to be. When you act on this guilt, it greatly helps to forgive yourself and to let it go.

Irrational Guilt

Irrational #guilt is based on low #self-esteem and experienced when you take responsibility for things you didn’t do and aren’t responsible for at all.

I.e. when you feel guilty for ending a relationship that was toxic to both you and the other. Why isn’t it productive to feel guilty for ending it? Because you’ve been real and did what you thought was best for you and them.

Never apologize or feel guilty for being real.

This type of guilt has to be approached with a focus on building stronger boundaries. On reminding yourself what you can and cannot control, what you are responsible for and what you aren’t responsible for.

Forgive Yourself

It can be very difficult to forgive yourself when you royally screwed up and know for a fact that whatever suffering someone else experiences is the by product and consequence of your words, actions, decisions and behaviours. However, as long as you are committed to personal growth, genuinely apologize and improve your behavior, it’s safe to forgive yourself for and grow through past mistakes since you hold yourself accountable and fully understand why the thing you said or did was wrong.

Call it guilt, fear, anger, or hatred – essentially, it means your thoughts and emotions are working against you – Sadhguru

As for the other person that got hurt, you cannot control if and when they accept your apology.

They may never forgive you or they may find the space in their heart to let go of the past and move on. However, if they do the latter, it doesn’t mean they will take you back.

All it means is that they freed themselves from the resentment that kept poisoning them.

#Practice mindfulness techniques to help you detach from your thoughts and emotions.

By Guest Author:

Overthinking and anxiety are terms that are often used interchangeably, but they actually have different meanings. While overthinking is when you can’t stop worrying about every little thing, anxiety, specifically, is a more generalized feeling of apprehension and uneasiness. Additionally, anxiety is often focused on the future.

In this post, I will discuss the differences between these two concepts, as well as share some strategies for managing them. Whether you’re dealing with overthinking or anxiety, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone and there are ways to cope.” 

People try to create an outwardly perfect life, but the quality of life is based on the inward- #Sadhguru

Introduction

Overthinking:

Overthinking refers to a repetitive process of dwelling on or obsessing over thoughts, events, or scenarios. In other words, it involves analyzing situations excessively, often focusing on potential negative outcomes or past events. As a result, overthinkers may have difficulty making decisions due to overanalysing possibilities and may feel stuck in a loop of thoughts without reaching resolution.

Anxity:

Anxiety is a broader emotional and physiological response to perceived threats or stressors. It involves feelings of worry, fear, or apprehension about future events, with a sense of unease or dread. Anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, and difficulty concentrating. It is often accompanied by irrational or excessive thoughts (worries) that are challenging to control.

Distinguishing Features

A) Focus:

• Overthinking: Focuses on repetitive thoughts and analysis of specific situations or events, often related to past experiences or decision-making.
• Anxiety: Focuses on future-oriented worries or fears about potential threats or negative outcomes.

B) Impact on Functioning:

• Overthinking: Can lead to indecision, difficulty concentrating on tasks, and a preoccupation with details that may not significantly impact daily functioning.
• Anxiety: Can significantly impair daily functioning, affecting work, relationships, and overall quality of life due to heightened stress responses and avoidance behaviors.

C) Physical Symptoms:

• Overthinking: May not always be accompanied by physical symptoms unless it escalates into anxiety or stress-related reactions.
• Anxiety: Often accompanied by physical symptoms such as tension, restlessness, gastrointestinal issues, and sleep disturbances.

D) Time Orientation:

• Overthinking: Often involves dwelling on past events or ruminating about current issues without necessarily projecting into the future.
• Anxiety: Primarily focuses on future concerns and potential threats, with an emphasis on anticipation and preparedness.

     Example Scenarios:

• Overthinking: Spending hours replaying a conversation in your mind, analyzing every word spoken and its potential implications.
• Anxiety: Feeling intense fear and dread about an upcoming presentation, accompanied by physical symptoms like sweating and a racing heartbeat.

Strategy To Overcome From Mental Trap:

Here are a few steps to Reframe negative thoughts into positive self-talk:

1. Identify negative thought patterns: Notice when you’re engaging in negative self-talk and identify the specific thoughts that are causing you distress.

• Example: You receive a critical comment on a project at work OR You start thinking about being alone in the future
• Thought: “I always mess things up. I’m such a failure / I’ll always be lonely. No one will want to be around me to take care”
• Negative: Thought Pattern: Overgeneralization (i.e., making broad conclusions based on a single event or limited experience or societal belief )

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Question whether the negative thoughts are yours, accurate or helpful. Ask yourself if there’s another way to look at the situation.

Evidence: Is there evidence to support this belief? Is there evidence to support the belief that you’ll always be lonely, or that no one will want to be around to care for you?

Alternative explanations: Are there other reasons this could have happened?/ Could there be other reasons you feel this way, or other possibilities for your future?

Is this helpful? How does this thought help or hinder me? / How does this thought about loneliness help or hinder me? Does it motivate me to take positive action or just increase fear of “what if”? Is it my belief or others ?

3.Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations: 

Choose positive statements that counteract the negative thoughts, such as “I am capable
and worthy,” or “I can handle whatever comes my way”

Affirmation: “I am capable of learning from feedback and improving my skills / I am worthy of close connections and support /I may feel lonely at times, but I am capable of building connections and finding people who care about me / i can set boundaries with family and friends who impose expectations.

Present Tense: “I am open to constructive criticism and use it to grow professionally”/I am open to building lasting, fulfilling relationships. Marriage is not the only relationship to lie happy and fulfilled

Believable: “I have successfully overcome challenges in the past and can do so again and again.”/I have formed meaningful connections in the past, and I am capable of doing so again. I can create the life of my dream”

4. Treatment Considerations:

• Overthinking: Mindfulness can be beneficial.
• Anxiety: Treatment may include therapy (e.g.,cognitive-behavioral therapy(CBT),Neural reprogramming ,Reframing ), medication, and stress management techniques like yoga ,mindfulness etc to reduce symptoms and improve coping skills.

Understanding these distinctions can help individuals identify whether they are experiencing overthinking, anxiety, or potentially both, and seek appropriate support or strategies for managing their mental health effectively.

Understanding the differences between overthinking and anxiety can be crucial for recognizing and managing these mental states effectively. Here’s a questionnaire to help distinguish between overthinking and anxiety:

5. Self Help Technique :

Overthinking vs. Anxiety Questionnaire

Feel free to use this questionnaire to reflect on your own thoughts and feelings related to overthinking and anxiety, and to help differentiate between these two mental states. Technique 3

Social Attitudes and Misconceptions: Unpacking the Roots
of Mental Health Stigma

The social stigma attached to mental illness is one of the
main cause due to which this problem remains untreated and is increasing day by
day leading to further health related problems such as heart attacks, cancer,
High Blood Pressure, Sugar and so on. The irony is when a person has a physical
illness, they are treated sympathetically, but if someone is suffering

from
mental illness, they are often ridiculed, and people treat them as inferior
beings. Our society values willpower and mental toughness and is quick to label
anyone.

 This is the main reason why many people hide their
mental health issues and this makes it harder for individuals to openly discuss
their struggles. This lack of awareness and acceptance amplifies the challenges
people face when dealing with mental health issues. The fear of judgment and
the prevailing misconceptions about these conditions contribute to a culture of
silence, where individuals endure their suffering quietly instead of seeking
the help they may need. Breaking down these societal barriers is crucial to
creating an environment where people feel comfortable talking about and
addressing their mental health.

It is indeed time to take a proactive stance against the
social stigma surrounding mental illness and treat it with the same empathy and
understanding as other health conditions. This involves fostering a more open
and accepting society where individuals feel comfortable discussing their
mental health issues without fear of judgment.

For this it is necessary to promote education and awareness
about mental health. This includes schools, workplace, media and communities
fostering discussions on importance of self-care and mental well-being.

By promoting the understanding that mental health conditions
can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background may normalise
seeking help for mental health concerns.  This can involve sharing stories
of individuals who have sought treatment and highlighting the positive impact
of early intervention.

Acknowledgement of individuals who have overcome mental
health challenges can help inspire others and reduce the stigma associated with
seeking help. Individuals can feel accepted regardless of their mental health
status.

Taking these steps, we can collectively work towards
creating a more compassionate and informed society that recognizes mental
health as an integral part of overall well-being.

Article Written By: Pamposh Pokhariyal

Book Published: Unlock the magic of optimism – Shaping your world
through a positive mind setUnlock the magic of optimism – Shaping your worldthrough a positive mind set

Author Introduction and link to by book online

Hey everyone, In today’s post I want to talk about an important emotion that we all experience
at some point or another: SHAME!

It’s that uncomfortable, embarrassing, guilty feeling we get when we’ve done something wrong or when others make us feel bad about ourselves or a situation. It’s a pretty heavy emotion, but it’s something we all have to deal with in our lives, and in the case of child abuse, victims deal with it every dam day!

It involves a deep feeling of unworthiness or humiliation, often accompanied by a desire to hide or withdraw from others like they have done something wrong against society’s standards or expectations. 

Shame is indeed an emotion, it manifests as a feeling within us.

 

Hidden Powers and Purposes of Feelings (Revealed)

Without emotions, we cannot feel good or bad in our lives. Consider this: 

To truly appreciate happiness, we must first understand the depths of sadness. To truly understand the positive, we must first feel the negative.

This just reminding me of  Ed Shreen Song “Passenger” which beautifully illustrates the importance of understanding and learning from our emotions and feelings.

Emotions are actually chemicals released in response to our interpretation of a specific trigger. Once an emotion is generated, feelings arise in our body.

The Roots of Shame: Uncovering the Hidden Factors

Shame can arise from both inside us, like our own beliefs and values, and outside us,
like what society expects and how it judges us. 

Shame can be triggered by various factors, including:

Social Norms and Expectations: When the individual believe that they have failed to meet societal or cultural
standards of behavior, appearance, or achievement, they may experience shame. 

Example: Experiencing judgment from peers for choosing to pursue a non-traditional hobby or career path, creates feelings of judgment, shame, and hesitation in disclosing it proudly in social settings.

Feeling scared and embarrassed when a parent hurts you, but you don’t tell anyone because you’re worried about what people might think if they find out.

Feeling shameful, coming from a middle-class family, among rich-class fellows. Due to shame emotion, one may feel embarrassed, and uncomfortable, resulting in low self-esteem.

Criticism and Rejection: Being criticized, rejected, or ridiculed by others, whether directly or indirectly,
can trigger feelings of shame and inadequacy. basically, these judgments are like a harsh spotlight on our faults and weaknesses, and they can really mess with our self-confidence.

Example: 

Feeling ashamed and inadequate after receiving a rejection letter from a job application, a person may feel shame discussing this topic, leading to self-doubt about their abilities and worth.

Feeling Ashamed of love rejection may lead to a generalized opinion that love is not good a feeling or should not proposed first.

Comparisons: Comparing oneself unfavorably to others, particularly in terms of achievements,
possessions, appearance, and family status, parent’s work profiles etc. can lead to feelings of inferiority and shame.

Example:

Sneha scrolling through social media, and sees a post from a friend who just got promoted at work, bought a new house, or went on a glamorous vacation, and suddenly, she starts feeling like she is not successful enough, not good enough, or not attractive enough. She starts thinking, “Why can’t I have that? Why am I not as successful/attractive/happy as they are?”

These comparisons can be a real killer for your self-esteem and can easily lead to feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and Shame.

Mistakes and Failures: Making mistakes or experiencing failures can evoke feelings of shame, especially if individuals believe they should have been able to prevent or avoid them.

Example:

Feeling ashamed and disappointed after receiving a poor grade on a test, leading to judgmental shame by others, self-doubt, and questioning own abilities.

Experiencing shame after failing a driving test, leads to a feeling of inadequacy and self-blame for not performing better and sometimes person gives up trying again or avoid such topic discussion due to shame.

Trauma and Childhood Abuse: Trauma and abuse can cause long-lasting scars, both physical and emotional. One of the worst things that can happen after abuse is the victim feeling ashamed like the abuse was their fault.

This is a huge problem in our society, where people who commit horrible acts are protected, and their victims are blamed and disbelieved. This backward system keeps people from coming forward and speaking out about their abuse. This vicious cycle of silence and self-blame keeps victims stuck in shame and self-loathing, making it harder for them to heal and move forward. We need to stop protecting abusers and shaming victims. We need to support victims and hold abusers accountable.

Perceived Inadequacy: Childhood trauma and abuse may lead to a feeling of inadequacy or “not good enough” in various areas of the life of a victim, such as relationships, work, or personal accomplishments, which can trigger shame.

Example:

Imagine Priya, haunted by childhood abuse. Though she’s ace at school, she still feels not good enough. At work, even when she is efficient, doubts cloud her confidence. In relationships, she’s always tries to seek approval, scared of being rejected because she perceives herself as inadequate. Every stumble brings a flood of shame, a reminder of old hurts.

Guilt and Self-Blame: Feeling guilty about past actions or choices, particularly if they have hurt others, can lead to shame, especially if individuals internalize the belief that they are inherently flawed or unworthy.

Cultural and Religious Beliefs: Cultural and religious beliefs about morality, purity, and propriety can contribute to feelings of shame when individuals perceive themselves as falling short of these ideals. 

Understanding these triggers can help individuals identify and address the underlying sources of shame and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Understanding the Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Child abuse can exacerbate feelings of shame in various ways, often intertwining with societal expectations and judgments:

Societal Expectations of Family Dynamics: Society often promotes an idealized image of the family unit, emphasizing love, care, and support. When a child experiences abuse within their family, it contradicts these societal expectations, leading to a sense of shame. The child may feel ashamed of their family situation and fear judgment from others if they reveal the abuse.

Judgment from Others: Children who experience abuse may also face judgment from others if they disclose their experiences. Society may blame or stigmatize the child or their family, leading to feelings of shame and isolation. This fear of judgment can prevent children from seeking help or speaking out about the abuse, further exacerbating their sense of shame.

Internalization of Blame: Children who are abused may internalize feelings of guilt and blame, believing that they are somehow responsible for the abuse. This internalized shame can be reinforced by societal attitudes that blame victims for their experiences. As a result, abused children may struggle with feelings of shame and self-loathing, believing that they are unworthy or deserving of the abuse they endured.

In short, societal expectations and judgments can intersect with experiences of child abuse, exacerbating feelings of shame and preventing children from seeking help or speaking out about their experiences. It’s crucial for society to challenge harmful attitudes and stereotypes surrounding child abuse and provide support and resources for affected individuals to overcome feelings of shame and heal from their trauma.

In adulthood, survivors of childhood sexual abuse may continue to grapple with shame, which can manifest in various ways in their life.

They may struggle with intimacy, have difficulty expressing their emotions, or experience feelings of inadequacy in different areas of their lives, such as work, relationships, and self-image.

Conquer Shame: Strategies for Overcoming Self-Judgment and Building Confidence

Overcoming shame caused by the actions of others can be challenging, but there are several
techniques that may help:

Recognize the Source: Understand that the shame you’re feeling is a result of someone else’s actions or words, not a reflection of your worth or identity. Recognizing the source of the shame can help you separate yourself from it and prevent it from defining you. A colleague’s public criticism can cause you to feel ashamed, but recognizing the source of this shame as a colleague’s behavior, rather than a personal flaw, can help you maintain self-worth.

Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the person who triggered your feelings of shame. Communicate assertively about how their actions or words affected you and what behaviors are unacceptable to you in the future. Setting boundaries can help protect your self-esteem and prevent similar incidents from occurring.

Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, acknowledging that you’re experiencing a difficult emotion as a result of someone else’s actions. Practice self-compassion by offering yourself the same empathy and support that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.

Write a letter by addressing yourself as if you are writing to a dear friend. Acknowledge a specific situation or challenge you’re currently facing that is causing you distress. Describe the situation briefly but with enough detail to clarify it in your mind. Offer words of kindness and encouragement to yourself. Imagine what you would say to a friend who is going through something similar. Be gentle and supportive. once you’ve completed writing the letter, read it aloud to yourself. Pay attention to the emotions that arise as you read each sentence. Notice any shifts in how you feel towards yourself. Allow yourself to receive the kindness and compassion you’ve expressed in the letter.

Challenge Negative Thoughts: Challenge any negative beliefs or thoughts about yourself that arise as a result of the other person’s actions. Remind yourself of your inherent worth and strengths, and question the validity of any beliefs that suggest otherwise. Technique 2

Focus on What You Can Control: Shift your focus away from the actions of the other person and toward what you can control in the situation. This might include how you choose to respond, how you take care of yourself, and how you set boundaries to protect your well-being. Technique 1

Seek Support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist for support and validation. Sharing your experiences with others who can offer empathy and understanding can help alleviate feelings of shame and isolation.

Practice Forgiveness: Consider practicing forgiveness as a way to release yourself from the grip of shame and resentment. This doesn’t necessarily mean condoning or excusing the other person’s actions, but rather freeing yourself from the emotional burden of holding onto anger and bitterness.

Focus on Personal Growth: Use
the experience as an opportunity for personal growth and learning. Reflect on what you can learn from the situation and how you can emerge stronger and more resilient as a result.

Remember that overcoming shame caused by others’ actions is a process that takes time and self-compassion. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to heal at your own pace. Healing from the deep rooted shame caused by childhood abuse can seem impossible, but with patience and self-compassion, you can learn to see yourself through different eyes

You are not defined by your past experiences or the words of others!

 

 

Technique 1: Managing Emotions and Overcoming Overthinking Patterns

1. Ever found yourself doing something, then feeling guilty or regret about it later?
2. Do you ever experience feelings of hurt or being undervalued by the words spoken by your partner, family members, or friends?
3. Tap Into Multiple Intelligences & Unlock Your Child’s Inborn Strengths and Talent
4. Shame Unmasked: The Hidden Force Steering Your Thoughts and Emotions
5. Mental Health Stigma: Why It Persists and How We Can Break Down the Barriers
6. Know the Difference, Overcome Overthinking and Anxiety: A Guide to Differentiating and Managing Your Thoughts and Feelings
7. What Is The Right Way To Tackle Getting Rid Of Guilt?
8. Unspoken Secret to Overcoming Guilt: The Hidden Power of Self-Compassion and Forgiveness

9. Unveiling the Truth About Loneliness

10. Why Positive Thinking Sometimes Fails: Unveiling the Truth Behind the Law of Attraction

Welcome to Full-Mind2Mindfull, where the journey to personal growth begins. I’m a certified Inner Wellness Brain Rewiring Coach and Yoga Instructor. My journey into the world of wellness began after overcoming my own health challenges through Yoga and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Inspired by my personal transformation, I am here to help others experience the same vitality and well-being. 
My name is Meenakshi, and I‘m passionate about Holistic living & Self development. I started this blog because I believe in sharing my knowledge and experiences with others who share similar interests. I hope you’ll find valuable information and inspiration here.

Mission:

Full-Mind2Mindfull is more than just a blog; it’s a community dedicated to empowering individuals to make positive changes in their lives. Here, I embark on a mission to elevate your awareness, reshape your thinking, fortify your character, and cultivate the skills needed to navigate life with purpose and mindfulness. My aim is simple yet profound: to empower individuals to lead a more successful, fulfilling, and mindful existence. Through insightful articles and strategies to overcome challenges, we delve into the realms of personal development and mindfulness.

What You’ll Find Here:

• Self Improvement Tips & Technique : Explore practical expert advice on topics like Holistic Development and Self improvement ,Behavioural psychology, Mental wellness ,Brain Reprogramming, Stress management, Mindfulness , fitness, and self-care to support your overall well-being.

• Expert Insights: Stay informed with science-backed information and insights from leading experts in the field of  self development & wellness.

• Community Connection: Join a supportive community of like-minded individuals who share your passion for healthy and Holistic living. Connect with me and fellow readers through comments, social media, and exclusive events.

Let’s Connect:

I love hearing from my readers! Whether you have questions, feedback, or just want to say hello, feel free to reach out. Connect with me on Instagram or drop me an email at revive2thrivewithmg@gmail.com

Thank you for joining me on this journey to vibrant health and wellness. Here’s to living our best lives!
With love and gratitude, Meenakshi !

Ever found yourself doing something, then feeling guilty or regret about it later?

I did that because ………………”and you start justifying it to yourself over and over?

A nagging voice in your head kicks in time to time, questioning your choices?

Feels embarrassed or ashamed about something you’ve done, desperately trying to keep it under wraps from others?

You end up doing stuff just because everyone else is doing it, or because you’re afraid of missing out, even if it’s not really your cup of tea?

So, you been there, right?

This post for you, my dear friends! Let’s explore underline cause of these inner conflicts to resolve and empower ourselves by becoming ted more smart, aware and mindful to cope with these unexplainable thoughts. We’re not alone in this struggle! It’s like a secret club of self-doubters and overthinkers.

Overview :

In psychology, the term “Inner conflict” is known as “cognitive dissonance.”

When an individual holds conflicting beliefs, attitudes, or values, or when their actions are inconsistent with their beliefs or attitudes, a sense of discomfort or tension arises in the mind, often manifesting as feelings of guilt, anxiety, stress, or even confusion.  

Cognitive dissonance is common phenomenon for people to engage in internal chat with themselves when they’re trying to figure out their emotions and feelings after doing something.

It’s a fundamental concept in psychology and has significant implications for understanding decision-making, attitude change, and behaviour. Sometimes, what you thought and what you did don’t quite match up, and that can make you feel uneasy or guilty. 

Mismatches Between Your Beliefs and Actions can lead to feelings of discomfort, but you know what? Sometimes feeling that discomfort can actually help you grow and change

Values & Belief Conflicts: 

Value Conflicts are an inevitable part of human life. Guilt and discomfort arise when our actions or decisions contradict our deeply held values. Individuals’ beliefs, principles, or priorities clash with those of others. While these conflicts may seem purely intellectual or philosophical, their psychological ramifications can be profound. 

Values: Provide a sense of purpose and direction (a core principle)

Beliefs: Shape our attitudes and perceptions.

Example 1: someone who deeply value environment protection. They might feel pretty uneasy if their job involves working for a company that’s all about making polythene, which isn’t exactly eco-friendly. 

Example 2: Imagine someone whose core value is Honesty. If they end up having to lie in court because they have a personal relationship with the person on trial, that could really mess with their head leaving them feeling guilt, Shame, or self-doubt, as the person acted in a way that feels dishonest and contrary to their identity of Honesty

Such inner conflict might spill over into their behaviour and responses, causing issues that complicate their relationships with others and even identity crisis, where the individual feels disconnected from their true self, unsure of who they are or what they truly stand for anymore.

Example 3: Someone who deeply value environment protection. They might feel pretty uneasy if their job involves working for a company that’s all about making polythene, which isn’t exactly eco-friendly.

Working for such company, the person is conflicted, as their job supports a product that goes against their environmental values. This creates guilt and frustration, as they struggle to reconcile their passion for protecting the planet with their role. They may start to feel like a hypocrite, torn between their beliefs and their job, which causes guilt, frustration, and internal turmoil.

Few Common Examples of Conflicting Value & Beliefs we’ve all noticed in our own lives :

• You want to be healthy, but you don’t exercise regularly or while dieting often have cheat meals. You feel guilty as a result because your value is “Health is important”. Result of the contradiction between Value (“Health is important”) and belief (that they should exercise regularly and avoid cheat meals) is guilt
• Your Belief(Perception) is that “Smoking/Drinking is harmful to health,” but you do it anyway. You rationalize this action by valuing immediate relief from stress and believing that it helps you feel a sense of control over the consequences. This rationalization helps ease the guilt or discomfort caused by the conflict.
• You’d like to build up your savings (Core Value), but you often spend extra cash as soon as you get it, going against your core value. Later, you regret this decision, especially when faced with an unexpected expense that you can’t cover. This conflict between your actions and your value leads to feelings of regret or guilt.
• You have a long to-do list but spend the day watching your favourite shows or Instagram reels instead. Feeling guilty for not being productive, you don’t want your spouse to know, so you try to make it look like you’ve worked hard all day. This creates a conflict between your intentions (getting things done) and your actions, leading to feelings of guilt and dishonesty.

Remember, it’s natural to encounter conflicts between values and beliefs. What’s important is how you navigate them with integrity and mindfulness.

Challenges Of Value & Belief Conflicts 

1. The Burden of Moral Agony:

Moral turmoil occurs when we recognize the morally correct course of action but find ourselves unable to act or fulfil it due to external constraints or conflicting values. This clash between our ethical beliefs and situational limitations can evoke emotions of guilt, frustration, and powerlessness. 

Consider a passionate animal lover who works at a company that conducts animal testing for cosmetic products. This conflict between his values and job responsibilities can cause significant inner turmoil and ethical dilemmas.

2. Navigating Identity Crises:

Identity Struggle often arise when our core beliefs are closely linked to our self-perception. Confronted with opposing values or societal expectations, we may engage in introspection, re-evaluating our own identity, beliefs, and life’s direction. This internal struggle can evoke emotions of confusion, anxiety, and a decline in self-confidence.

Example: Imagine someone who’s always focused on making money, but suddenly feels drawn to a creative job that doesn’t pay well. They’re torn between what they’ve always been taught and what truly makes them happy. This makes them doubt themselves, their beliefs, and where they’re headed in life, leading to feelings of confusion and anxiety. These thoughts can make them feel unsure of themselves and less confident than before. 

Technique To Resolve Conflicting Value & Beliefs

1. Values Clarification Exercise:

Identify Core Values: Take some time to reflect on your core values – those principles or beliefs that are most important to you. For example, you might list Health, Honesty, Compassion, Family, Career success, or Personal growth.

Rank Your Values: Once you have a list of values, prioritize them based on their importance to you. Consider which values you are not willing to compromise on and which ones are more flexible. For instance, you might rank family as your top value, followed by honesty and career success.

Identify Conflicting Beliefs: Reflect on specific situations where you have experienced confusion or guilt due to conflicting beliefs or values. For example, you might recall a time when you had to choose between being honest with a friend and protecting their feelings, which challenged your value of honesty against your value of compassion.

Explore the Origins: Dive deeper into the origins of your values and beliefs. Consider how your upbringing, culture, past experiences, and influential figures have shaped your worldview. For instance, you might reflect on how your parents’ emphasis on honesty and integrity influenced your own values.

Re-evaluate Assumptions: Challenge any assumptions or beliefs that may be contributing to the conflict. Ask yourself why you hold certain beliefs and whether they are based on evidence, personal experience, or societal norms. For example, you might question whether your belief that success requires sacrificing personal relationships is valid or if it’s a societal stereotype.

Seek Resolution : Look for ways to reconcile conflicting values or beliefs. Explore alternative perspectives, compromise solutions, or reframing techniques that allow you to integrate different viewpoints while staying true to your core values. For instance, you might find a compromise by being honest with your friend in a gentle and empathetic way, thus honoring both honesty and compassion.

Take Action: Implement the resolution strategies you have identified in real-life situations. Practice living in alignment with your core values while navigating conflicting beliefs with integrity and authenticity. For example, you might choose to prioritize honesty in your interactions with others while also considering their feelings and well-being.

Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your experiences and decisions in light of your core values. Evaluate whether your actions align with your values and beliefs, and make adjustments as needed to maintain congruence and inner harmony. For instance, you might reflect on how your recent actions have aligned with your core values of honesty and compassion, and adjust your behavior accordingly in future situations.

By engaging in values clarification exercise, you will gain clarity on your core values, identify conflicting beliefs, and develop strategies to reconcile them effectively. This process enables you to make confident decisions and take action without experiencing guilt or anxiety afterward, resulting in increased fulfilment and well-being. If you find it challenging to conduct the exercise independently, feel free to reach out to me for personalized guidance at revive2thrivewithmg@gmail.com

2. Reframing:

Reframing is basically shifting or rewiring our perspective or interpretation of a situation in order to change its meaning and reduce mental distress. When faced with conflicting beliefs, emotions, or values, reframing allows us to view the situation in a more positive or constructive light, which can help us alleviate inner turmoil and promote mental well-being. 

This technique involves consciously challenging negative or unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with more adaptive or empowering perspectives, ultimately leading to greater clarity, resilience, and inner peace.

1. Belief in independence Vs. belief in family Commitment.

Reframe: Instead of seeing independence and family commitment as opposing values, view them as complementary. Embrace independence while also maintaining strong connections with family members.

2. Belief in ambition or following passion Vs. belief in work-life balance.

Reframe: Rather than viewing ambition and work-life balance as conflicting, see them as mutually beneficial. Pursue ambitious goals while also prioritizing self-care and personal well-being.

3. Belief in honesty Vs. belief in diplomacy.

Reframe: Instead of perceiving honesty and diplomacy as contradictory, recognize them as complementary approaches to communication. Practice honesty with tact and sensitivity, finding diplomatic ways to express truth.

4. Belief in tradition Vs. belief in progress.

Reframe: Instead of seeing tradition and progress as opposing forces, acknowledge that traditions can evolve over time to embrace new ideas and innovations. Honor tradition while also embracing positive change and growth.

5. Belief in individual freedom Vs. belief in social responsibility.

Reframe: Rather than viewing individual freedom and social responsibility as conflicting, see them as interconnected. Exercise personal freedom while also recognizing the importance of contributing to the well-being of society. 

These reframes helps to shift perspective and encourage a more nuanced understanding of conflicting values and beliefs, ultimately promoting harmony & peace within.

Value conflicts are an inherent part of the human experience, challenging us to reconcile competing beliefs, principles, and priorities. By understanding the psychological impact of these conflicts and adopting strategies for resolution, we can navigate them with greater resilience, integrity, and compassion, fostering greater harmony and understanding in our relationships and communities.

Do you ever experience feelings of hurt or being undervalued by the words spoken by your partner, family members, or friends?

I think we’ve all been there at some point.

It's not just about what's said, but how it's being received that matters .

In this post, we’ll explore why certain words have influence over our emotions and our perception of
ourselves, including our sense of self-worth and self-respect. let’s explore how understanding underlying psychology can bring self-awareness in you to help you grow but also deepen your relationships. Join me on this journey where understanding your reactions isn’t just important for personal growth but can also be the foundation for stronger connections with those around you. Together, we’ll uncover why these comments hit so hard and explore strategies to cultivate emotional resilience.

From Reactivity to Responsiveness: The Triggers Behind Why Some Words Sting Hard:

1. Personal History:

Past experiences, traumas, and upbringing significantly affect how individuals perceive and respond to
words.

For instance, someone who has endured bullying may have a heightened reaction to specific words like “weak” or “fight back.” Similarly, a wife who has discovered her husband’s infidelity may respond defensively and aggressively in social discussions on related topics, perceiving it as a personal attack.

“As these reactions are deeply personal and stem from individual experiences, it’s essential for individuals to recognize and understand their triggers to navigate interactions more effectively.”

2. Beliefs and Values:

Individuals’ perceptions of themselves, others, and their environment significantly influence their emotional and behavioral responses.  For instance, someone who highly values independence may defensively react to words implying dependency or weakness, often resisting suggestions from others.

Similarly, if someone strongly believes that only employed women are valuable, non-working women may feel undervalued, especially when witnessing a husband praising his colleague who is
employed.

This situation may evoke feelings of comparison, personal attack, leading to reactions such as aggression, sarcasm, or emotional distress. Additionally, someone with low self-esteem may misinterpret praise as insincere or sarcastic, further impacting their emotional state.

3. Emotional State:

The current emotional state has a significant impact on how they interpret and respond to
words or situations.

For instance, if someone is grieving and already feeling depressed, they might react more strongly and negatively to simple words, requests, or genuine efforts to help them deal with their grief. They may feel as though others are only concerned about themselves and don’t genuinely care about their loss.

4. Cognitive Processing:

The way individuals interpret and process words can impact their emotional and
behavioral responses.

For instance, someone who tends to catastrophize may interpret a neutral comment as highly negative, leading to an exaggerated emotional response. This happens due to their tendency to magnify or amplify potential threats or negative outcomes in their mind.

By actively challenging and reframing catastrophic thoughts, individuals can reduce the likelihood of exaggerated emotional responses and cultivate a more balanced and resilient mindset.

It’s essential to recognize that it’s our perception of the situation that upsets our mood, rather than the
words or actions of others.

5. Cultural and Societal Norms:

These triggers shaped by cultural & societal norms and interactions, can evoke emotional or behavioral responses which can influence how individuals interpret and respond to words.

Certain words or phrases may carry different meanings or connotations across cultures, leading to varied
emotional responses.

For example, suppose a man assists his partner with household chores and childcare In that case, he may encounter criticism, such as being called “zoru ka gulam” in Indian culture, which can harm his masculinity and self-esteem. As a result, he might avoid helping or react defensively/aggressively to safeguard his ego.

Understanding these dynamics helps us cope with verbal criticism, bolstering emotional resilience
and self-esteem. 

Through self-awareness and mindful communication, we can prevent others’ words and comments from dictating our lives, as they reflect their values and beliefs, not ours.

6. Social validation and comparisons:

Social validation and comparisons are other triggers shaping our emotional well-being and fostering harmony within our homes.

Words that affirm or challenge our social identity and sense of belonging hold significant influence over us. Positive affirmations can uplift our self-esteem, while criticism or rejection may provoke feelings of inadequacy or loneliness.

Social media often amplifies these comparisons, particularly when women encounter their friends’ posts showcasing extravagant weddings, vacations, or seemingly flawless relationships. However, it’s essential to recognize that these curated images may not always reflect reality.

Such exposure often triggers feelings of inadequacy or jealousy, accentuating their own family’s restrictions or limitations and leading to emotional distress.

Consequently, individuals may start taking every other word or statement as a personal attack, affecting not only their relationships but also their social interactions

7. Low Self-Worth:

This factor is crucial in understanding why people often misinterpret situations and feel
others are trying to disrespect or devalue them.

Women are particularly prone to this phenomenon due to their heightened emotional sensitivity, which is
influenced by biological factors.

Misinterpretation of the words contributes to the intensity of emotional reactions triggered
by certain words in several ways:

• Sensitivity to Criticism: Individuals with low self-worth tend to be highly sensitive to criticism or negative feedback, which can trigger intense emotional reactions like shame, inadequacy, or worthlessness, as well as lead to social comparison, all rooted in past experiences and background.
• Validation Seeking: People with low self-worth often seek external validation to feel better about themselves. Imagine someone who continually seeks reassurance from their romantic partner, craving expressions of love and value. Yet, if they receive an unromantic response instead, it reinforces their negative self-perceptions, damaging their self-esteem. This dependency on external validation can result in emotional turmoil and strained relationships, fueling a cycle of seeking approval.

It is important to recognize that our sense of self-worth and value comes from within. Developing a strong internal sense of self-worth that isn’t solely reliant on validation from external sources such as partners, friends, or societal standards is crucial. While seeking reassurance from others is natural, cultivating self-worth independent of external opinions is essential for personal growth and resilience. By understanding and challenging our psychological programming, we can free ourselves from the cycle of seeking validation from others and build healthier relationships.

• Negative Self-Talk: Individuals with low self-worth often engage in negative self-talk, consistently criticizing themselves or doubting their abilities, whether consciously or unconsciously. When individuals hear words that resonate with their negative self-perceptions like ‘You’re not good enough’ or ‘You’ll never succeed, it can validate these beliefs and intensify their emotional reactions, such as anger, sadness, hurt, frustration, and anxiety. 

To deal with negative self-talk, start by recognizing and pen down when it happens and challenging those thoughts. Instead of believing them as truths, question their validity and replace them with more positive alternatives.

Words that challenge or undermine aspects of a person’s identity can be particularly triggering for
individuals with low self-worth. These words may threaten their sense of self and provoke defensive or protective responses to preserve their fragile self-esteem. For example, if someone criticizes a person’s career choice, suggesting that it doesn’t match their abilities, it could lead the individual to question their career path and feel insecure about their skills and value in that profession. This could trigger emotional reactions such as anger, arguments, feeling hurt, or insulted.

Do you often find yourself wondering how to best support your child’s growth and development?

Navigating through life’s twists and turns can be a rollercoaster, especially for children. Challenges are part of their journey, shaping their behavioural responses, growth, success and resilience. This article really dives deep into the concept of child strength & multiple intelligences and how they relate to a unique personality types. 

Therefore, instead of just looking at how smart someone is based on  IQ alone, this theory suggests that we all have different strengths and talents in various areas like music, spatial awareness, or interpersonal skills which all contribute to our overall intelligence & success.

Understanding Multiple Intelligences and Personality Type:

Unlocking your child’s full potential requires a deeper understanding of the concept of multiple intelligences. Each child is unique, and neuropsychology reflects that. 

As proposed by Howard Gardner, each individual possesses a unique combination of cognitive strengths that extend beyond traditional notions of intelligence. Therefore, by identifying and nurturing these diverse intelligences, parents and educators can provide a tailored approach to learning, which in turn empowers children to thrive in their areas of strength.

Understanding these different forms of intelligence allows us to appreciate the individual strengths and capabilities of each child. Moreover, each child has a distinct personality type that influences how they interact with the world around them. For instance, some children may be outgoing and adventurous, while others are more introverted and analytical. 

By recognizing and nurturing these differences in intelligence and personality types, parents and educators can effectively support a child’s growth and development. In doing so, they foster a holistic approach that honors each child’s uniqueness

Ultimately, celebrating each child’s diverse talents and characteristics contributes to their overall well-being and success in life.

Introduction to Howard Gardner’s Theory

Renowned psychologist Howard Gardner developed the theory of multiple intelligences, which suggests that there’s more to being smart than just acing a math test. In fact, it’s like having different flavors of smartness.

Overview of the Eight Intelligences

Think of intelligence as a buffet with eight options:

• Linguistic (Word smart),
• Logical -Mathematical (Numbers whiz)
• Spatial (Visual thinker)
• Bodily-kinesthetic (Movement smart)
• Musical (Melody lover),
• Interpersonal (Social butterfly)
• Intrapersonal (Self-aware)
• Naturalistic (Nature enthusiast)

Wow, there are lot of ways to be awesome! So, when it comes to boosting your child’s self-esteem and
confidence, tapping into their multiple intelligences is key.

Identifying Your Child’s Unique Strengths & Fostering a Supportive Environment for Development

When we combine these different intelligences with our individual personality types, it paints a more complete picture of who we are as individuals. 

By understanding the different types of intelligence in your child, you’re not only helping them excel in those areas but also building their self-worth and belief in themselves.

Moreover, when you recognize their innate abilities, intelligence, and unique personality type, you can provide the support and encouragement they need to succeed.

Just imagine how empowering it would be for your little one to see that they have something special to offer the world! Trust me, it’ll do wonders for their confidence and self-esteem in the long run.

So next time you feel like your child is not measuring up in one area, remember that their strengths lie elsewhere – it’s what makes us all wonderfully unique!

Empowering Children by Promoting a Growth Mindset and Resilience

As children explore the world, they frequently encounter unique obstacles that they must overcome.

By identifying your child’s strengths and abilities, you can help them face challenges head-on and emerge stronger and more confident than ever before. 

• Help your child set specific,
  achievable goals that align with their strengths to reach new heights and
  discover the full extent of their inborn abilities. 
• Encourage a growth mindset
  in your child by teaching them that abilities can be developed through dedication
  and hard work. 
• Help them build resilience by emphasizing the importance of
  perseverance and learning from setbacks. 

In conclusion, Each child comes into this world with a set of special skills and gifts, and it is our duty as parents to recognize and develop these abilities, steering them towards a future filled with triumph and happiness.

Take the First Step Towards a Brighter Future

If you’re ready to unlock your child’s full potential, feel free to write to us at revive2thrivewithmg@gmail.com.

We will help you uncover your child’s innate personality, intelligence, strengths, and abilities. Additionally, with our guidance, we aim to help them excel in their careers and overcome daily life and mental challenges.